


Gave Me No Compasses, Gave Me No Signs

by edensrose



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Regency, Anal Sex, Bottom Louis, F/F, Friends to Lovers, M/M, meddling Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:48:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29296176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edensrose/pseuds/edensrose
Summary: Beautiful, smart and wealthy, Louis Tomlinson navigates his way through misguided matches, romantic missteps and the challenges of inner truth -- all to finally realize the love that has been there all along.
Relationships: Bella Hadid/Taylor Swift, Louis Tomlinson/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	Gave Me No Compasses, Gave Me No Signs

Louis Tomlinson was twenty four, clever, and rich. This alone says nothing for his character, but he was also beautiful and kind. He had lived his whole life outside the village of Highbury. Born to a noble family, he had grown up very much alone as one of the youngest inhabitants of the upper class. This did not pain him so very much for he had his governess, Miss Taylor Swift to pass his days with. They were not so very much apart in age, but now Miss Swift was to be wed.  
  
This would leave him and his father alone at their manor, which would indeed seem so much emptier than the ten years that she had been at their residence.  
So youthful and pretty she was that she had attracted the notice of one Miss Bella, a widow of means that lived in their adjoining village. Louis was happy that his closest friend had found love, in fact, he had been the very one to encourage the romance.  
Part of him felt extremely justified for making the match. If he had not encouraged the romance, who knows if it would even have happened.

At the wedding, there was only happiness and good cheer. He had noticed Mr. Winston looking very much a bachelor, and in the back of his mind, a plan was forming. Would not Mr. Winston soon like to be wed, so eligible a bachelor was he? Louis prided himself on being able to help people, it was his duty as one of the wealthier inhabitants of the community and his genuine love for charity.  
The day of the wedding had passed so quickly, Louis having to leave early with his father because he had felt a phantom chill. Louis dearly loved his father, but he was very paranoid as the years went on, a dear man but a bit silly. He often complained of cold that was not there, had a deep-seated fear of snow, and spent his fitful hours by a roaring fire no matter the weather.  
  
The sun was just beginning to set, Louis having finally settled his father by the fire with his port when he spied a figure walking towards the manor.   
The huge windows of their drawing room looked out across the lawn and Louis smiled. Of course, it was Mr. Knightley. He was a gentleman of means long known by their respective families. A landowner and every bit a gentleman, he had been both friend and advisor to Louis for as long as he could remember.  
  
Their estates bordered each other, and if a week passed by without him visited, that was very strange indeed. He had missed the wedding as he had been on business, and Louis was bursting to tell him everything. But he wanted to be caught at advantage or for Henry to at least think he was doing something extremely worthwhile and improving. He was often teasing Louis about never finishing books or practicing music. Louis could not help if he had an overactive imagination.  
He sat primly at the pianoforte, peeling the cover back. He had in fact started practicing more. Music was one of his favorite distractions and it soothed him. He started to play a simple melody hoping the music would attune Mr. Knightley to where they were located.  
  
“I see you have finally started taking my advice, is this to be a new trend, my dear Louis?” a deep baritone voice sounded from the doorway. Louis looked up from his playing to see Mr. Knightley’s tall form progressing nearer. He sat on the chair closest to Louis’ father.  
“Mr. Tomlinson, how are you feeling today?” Henry asked, solicitously bending his head toward the older man.

Louis’ heart burned with a warmth that was new to him. It was probably just the kindness towards his father that Louis loved to see. Not everyone was as kind or patient as Henry.

“Oh, you know, a touch of chill. My old bones aren’t what they used to be,” Mr Tomlinson said, shaking his feet underneath the blanket. Henry and Louis shared a look of quiet mirth. His father was always making these sort of remarks.  
  
“So tell me who cried most at the wedding?” Henry asked them both. He fell back into his chair, crossing his long legs before him. 

Louis flounced over from where he had abruptly stood up from the piano bench.

“Everyone was in perfect health and looked the picture of happiness. I know you will tease us for the tears, but they were truly the happiest tears I have cried,” Louis said.  
  
“Louis bears it well, but I must confess he will be terribly sad now that Miss Taylor is gone,” Mr Tomlinson said rather forlornly.

Louis smiled halfheartedly. He knew that he wore his emotions on his sleevebut he had hoped his father had not noticed it.

“Oh papa, I’m not in the least downhearted. And she is no longer Miss Taylor but Mrs. I must say I am quite pleased that I have the satisfaction of having made the match myself!” he said triumphantly.

“Oh no, not that again,” Henry said, shaking his head.

“It really could have been anyone that saw how Ms. Bella was infatuated with Taylor. You really are giving yourself too much credit this time,” he said, giving Louis what he must thing was a stern glance.

Henry was good at giving those especially to his younger friend.

Louis was unruffled by this remark. Of course Henry would not see his genius in matchmaking. He was unsure if Henry had ever considered matrimony, but Louis was beyond criticism in this field.

“Let us not argue,” he said, putting up his hand as if to stop words between them.

“My dear, Mr. Knightley is right. Perhaps you did help them on their way, but any more marriages and my life will be in disarray! I beg of you, please do not help any more in these matters. I already gave one daughter away in marriage,” Mr. Tomlinson said.   
  
“Of course not, as if I could ever leave you!” Louis cried, going over to kiss his father’s cheek. Henry was watching them warmly, half a smile on his lips.

“I do hope you’ll take your father’s words into account, Lou,” Henry said. Louis pretended not to hear and rang for tea.

“I just noticed today that Mr. Winston looked very much like he would enjoy being in the matrimonial way…” Louis said letting his voice trail off.

Henry’s lanky but well muscled body jerked upright.

“You don’t seriously think that a man like Mr. Winston would benefit from your help with that?” he uttered incredulously.

“And what is wrong with the idea? He is a reasonably attractive man with a good income,” Louis argued.

“Mr. Winston is an arrogant man who knows that he is young and handsome. He certainly doesn’t need help from you on that score, Louis Tomlinson,” Henry said, rather too dismissively for Louis’ taste.

Louis noticed that when Henry was annoyed with him, he tended to use his full name. He pursed his lips. They wouldn’t be in agreement anytime soon he thought.

“We will just have to beg to differ on this matter. I will not budge from my position, and perhaps you will see how wrong you are one day,” Louis said.

Henry was shaking his head, but there was a tiredness in his posture Louis hadn’t noticed before.

“Dear Mr. Knightley, let us stop this nonsense right now,” Louis said, taking Henry’s hand away from his brow. Henry looked up at him, some mischief in his eyes. Louis quickly slid his hands away as he sat down on the same settee.

“There, we are friends as we always have been. Let me tell you about the wedding,” Louis said. And he did precisely that, staying up for hours after Mr. Tomlinson went to bed to talk to one of his oldest friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~

To say that Louis was bored with village life was an understatement. His education was complete, he ran the household himself very smoothly, he was mistress of all, but he had to admit he was lonely.  
  
There were no people his age, of consequence or fortune, being in a small town as Highbury. All of the closest, more wealthy families lived miles away. It was not enough for him to be able to walk to Mrs. Taylor’s lovely place of residence, and on these days he felt like an intruder. He loved seeing his old friend so happy, but she had her own place now, her own household to attend to. For in truth, Louis wanted a project. He wanted to transform something, but also he wanted a friend. Someone his own age.   


Long had he heard tales of Bella’s wayward cousin, who depended upon his elderly, sickly aunt for his way of life. He was a bit older than Louis and was always promised to appear in Highbury, but he never managed to do so. Louis was so curious about him, the letters by him were read by Bella even before she married Taylor.  
He had wished that they could become acquainted, but alas it was not yet to be. He was struggling to find some occupation in the village when he noticed a group of girls from one of the schools in the village walking across the town bridge.  
They were brought up at the end by an awkward but good looking young man, perhaps a few years younger than Louis.  
  
As he watched, a new plan formed in his mind. Perhaps he could take this young man under his wing! He had had the look of someone well bred and amiable. He squinted at the lapel on their uniforms. Mrs. Goddard’s school for young people. Louis smiled. It was time for a tea and talk with Mrs. Goddard.

The lawn of Mrs. Goddard’s school was small but well tended. Louis sat as he examined the girls and boys playing with hoops and racing each other around. It was very different from his upbringing, but it brought his heart joy to see it. At least these younger people would not feel lonely.

Mrs. Goddard herself was a middle aged woman who was strict but also very kind. Her pupils loved her. Many of them were orphans that didn’t know who their parents were. She provided room and board along with education at anonymous bequests.

“It’s very kind of you to take an interest in Brendan. He is such a very dear young man,” Mrs. Goddard was saying. They were sipping lukewarm tea, attracting some curious glances from the students.  


“I was wondering if you might let me borrow him for a few days, I think it would be most improving for him,” Louis said, hoping this sounded like a good plan.

“Oh, yes of course! And may I say, it is very kind of you to furnish us with such a large donation,” she said in a warm tone.

Louis blushed, fidgeting with his tea cup. He had more than enough money, and he loved to share it with people who were less fortunate.

“Could you introduce us now, Mrs. Goddard?” he asked seeing as Brendan was already outside, nearest to them.

The boy in question was called over and the introductions were made.  
Louis greeted him quite warmly, and Brendan was very shy, at first. They ended up walking around the gardens, arm in arm, Louis wanting to know all about the boy he was going to take under his wing. He learned that Brendan was an orphan who had been placed at Mrs. Goddard’s school by an unknown gentleman.

“Oh, then he must be someone very highly placed!” Louis said, thinking of a dashing count that had a torrid affair with a lowly maid. Perhaps Brendan was the product of an assignation and forced to be given up!

“Oh, I do not know about that Mr. Tomlinson,” Brendan said in a low voice.

Louis stopped them in the garden, Brendan giving him a questioning glance. Louis held up the hand that wasn’t occupied by the boy’s arm.

“Please, do not call me that. Mr. Tomlinson is my father! You shall call me Louis for I feel that we are going to be very close friends,” Louis said, squeezing the boy’s arm. Brendan grinned.

“I very much hope so, Louis,” he replied.

Louis was feeling very proud of himself for finding such a fine companion. Yes, Brendan was unpolished, but he was very sweet and eager to please. Louis thought to himself that such a temperate nature would go well with someone older… perhaps a certain vicar?

“So, Brendan, have you thought of marriage yourself since you are of age? Anyone that has caught your fancy?” Louis asked, testing the waters.

Brendan blushed, signaling that perhaps there was a certain someone.

“Well, this summer I did get the chance to stay with some of my friends that graduated from this school. I stayed on, of course, to help with the younger children, but the two Ms. Martins, those are my friends, they let me stay at their farm. And oh, it’s just about the nicest farm I have ever stayed at—NOT that I’ve stayed at many farms, you know,” he said, dissolving into giggles.

  
Brendan rattled on in this way for a few minutes, Louis trying hard to remain interested, but his mind was still caught up on making a match for Brendan.

“You said there was a Mr. Martin? Is he quite old?” Louis asked, imagining a much older man guarding his sisters.

“Oh no, he’s not more than ten years older than I, and he is very handsome,” Brendan said. He had begun to blush again.

“Oh, I see,” Louis said, displeased by the notion. Surely his new friend could do better than a mere farmer, especially if his father was one of the nobility.

“I have half a mind to throw a small party in your honor,” Louis said. “I shall invite all of my close friends and people you should meet.”

“Oh, would not that be too much just for me?” Brendan asked, eyes wide.

“Brendan, my dear, it is the least I can do! Someone as charming as you should be known in the village. It is high time that I took this task in hand!” Louis declared.

After this pronouncement, he decided to run the rest of his errands for that day, busily scheming for a small dinner party. He left Brendan in a state of happy nerves, the former being all a-flutter for having a party dedicated to him.  
Louis smiled at the thought of his excitement. It was so nice to be doing something for someone else, and Louis thought that he would prove Mr. Knightley wrong.  
He would find someone perfect for Mr. Winston, someone so sweet that even Henry himself would compliment him on the match. It was with these happy thoughts he was made his way back to Hartfield, anxious to go over a dinner menu with their cook.

~~~~~~~~

Louis considered himself a charming hostess when it came to parties. He never left anyone out, tried to pair people who had like minds together, and it was one of the smaller pleasures in life that he enjoyed.  
His party for Brendan commenced a little after a week from when they had first met. In the interim period, Louis had spent time walking around the village with him, inviting him to Hartfield to walk in the gardens, and learning everything he could about his new companion. Louis was genuinely pleased to make a new friend, especially one in which he could confide.  
He was so used to having Mrs. Taylor around, and while the pang in his heart did not subside, it was lovely to have someone he could converse with.

He had learned that Brendan did indeed harbor a fancy on Mr. Martin. He did not come right out and say it, but it was clear with every lovesick word that came out of his mouth. Louis tried to disabuse him of the notion, and yet, Brendan only spoke of Mr. Martin with glowing terms. We will just have to fix that, Louis said internally to himself.  
  
On one of their walks after Brendan had been ceaselessly talking about the virtues of said Mr. Martin, Louis could bear it no longer.

“Do not you think that Mr. Winston is such a fine young gentleman? He has such an air of dignity around him, do not you think? So much more than a mere farmer. I have heard him being called the wittiest man in the county,” Louis said even though that was entirely untrue, but he thought there was no harm in bettering the man.  
  
“Oh, you mean our vicar?” Brendan asked, his brow wrinkling.

“Yes indeed! And oh look there he is!” Louis pointed out, seeing that Mr. Winston was outside of the church that they were about to pass by.  
  
“A country parish is so cozy,” Louis said as they walked past the exterior.

“Oh, to be sure,” Brendan agreed albeit a bit confused.

“Vicar! Would you be so kind as to carry my basket for me?” Louis asked as they come closer. “I fear my shoe has become unlaced.”

Mr. Winston sprang to Louis’ aid so quickly, he thought he might have fallen over in his haste.

“Any time you need any assistance, you need only ask me,” Mr. Winston said. He was looking at Louis quite fixedly, ignoring Brendan where he stood awkwardly. Louis cleared his throat, hoping he would introduce himself. He retrieved his basket from a smirking Mr. Winston. A small moment of silence lapsed until Louis decided to intervene.

“This is my new companion, Brendan Smith. He has just come of age, and I am throwing a small party in his honor a week from Saturday. I do hope you will join us!” Louis said.

“How do you do,” Mr. Winston said, bowing towards Brendan.  
  
Brendan blushed at the sudden attention, and replied, “I am very well sir, I hope that you are as well.”  
  
“Any friend of Louis’ is a friend of mine!” he declared, sketching a bow towards both of them. Louis bowed his head graciously and led Brendan away.

“Isn’t he just the perfect gentleman!” Louis gushed to Brendan, hoping that he would follow suit in his praise.

“Yes, he was very kind to bow to us,” Brendan said. His face was luminous in the afternoon light. How good it was that Mr. Winston had seen him at an advantage.

“My dear!! That was not for my benefit but for yours. Did you see what marked attention he paid towards you and already calling you a friend!” Louis said.

He could picture the wedding in his head. Brendan blushing all in white with a beaming Mr. Winston next to him. He sighed dreamily.

“But he could never think of ME like that,” Brendan said.

Louis stopped walking abruptly. He gave Brendan a considered look.

“And why ever not! You are charming, pretty, and sociable. Any man would be delighted to have you,” Louis said, resuming their walk.

Brendan grinned, taking Louis’ arm happily.

“Oh Louis, it’s a wonder that you are not married being so charming and beautiful as you are!” Brendan said as they meandered along.

“I do not see the need for marriage at all,” Louis said to the astonishment of his friend.

Brendan gasped. “But to be an old maid like Miss Bates…surely that is not what you want,” he said.

Louis waved a hand in the air.  
“Of course I could never be like Miss Bates. She is an old maid to be sure, but our circumstances could not be more different. It is why I feel very kindly towards her even though I must confess she does get on my nerves quite a lot. Extolling the virtues of Zayn Fairfax whom I have never met. I am well disposed to like him if there is a time that he comes to visit, but alas we have only the letters miss bates WILL go on about,” Louis said, rolling his eyes. Brendan giggled at his dramatics.

“Really, I have no need for marriage, and I could never leave my father, not for anything in the world. No, I am satisfied to make others happy and to see them fall in love. I have no need of it myself,” Louis proclaimed.

They continued on their way, Louis extolling the virtues of Mr. Winston until he could see Brendan’s resolve crumbling. Tentatively, he started to agree with Louis’ assessment of the man’s good qualities.

In fact, so engrossed in trying to convince his young friend, they bumped into the one person that Louis hoped he would never have to meet. One Mr. Martin.

Brendan immediately was scurrying to say hello and to ask how the cows were doing. Louis winced internally. Asking a man after his cows? It seemed so provincial. He felt guilty for a moment thinking about how snobbish he was being, but really it was for Brendan’s benefit. He deserved more than what a mere farmer could give him surely. He delicately coughed into his hand.

“Oh, Mr. Martin, this is my new friend, Louis Tomlinson. He lives at Hartfield Manor,” Brendan said, smiling shyly at the farmer. He was closer to the man than Louis deigned to be.

Louis surveyed Mr. Martin as he sketched a bow towards him.  
Mr. Martin was regrettably quite handsome, leaving Louis in no doubt of Brendan’s feelings for the man. He was no gentleman, but Louis found that he could understand why Brendan would think him good looking.  
As if he could feel Louis’ impatience, Mr. Martin look his leave of them.

“Fancy us meeting Mr. Martin in this way!” Brendan said happily.

“He is ever so nice. What did you think? Did you think that he was handsome?” he asked Louis, practically skipping down the road.

Louis hated to bring down Brendan’s happy mood, but he could not countenance the fact that Mr. Martin was not Mr. Winston.

“He was tolerable, but I quite prefer Mr. Winston. He is so refined and so partial to you already after one look at you!” Louis said, tapping the side of his nose.

“Oh…well yes, Mr. Martin isn’t so genteel as a real gentleman, but he has lots of wonderful qualities, I am sure,” Brendan said.  
  
Louis went on, ignoring Brendan’s words.

“You must know a vicar is so much more than just a mere farmer. Do not mistake me, Brendan. I think you are very kind for paying him attention, but I think he is a little too common for you when you have so very fine a man such as Mr. Winston interested in you,” Louis said.

Brendan’s brow furrowed.

“I guess I had not thought of Mr. Winston seeing me in that light,” he said, still somewhat confused.

  
“Well let us talk no more of it then, although you know that my preference is for Mr. Winston, and I am sure he will have much to say when it comes time for the party,” Louis said, ending the discussion.

~~~~

The dinner party was small but quite a success in Louis’ eyes. Brendan was a charming person albeit a little prone to verbal clumsiness, but Louis was happy that he seemed to have made a good impression.  
All of Louis’ close acquaintances were in attendance. Mr. Knightley, Miss Bates, Mrs. Taylor, and of course Mr. Winston. There was one thing that rattled his calm, but it was no fault of his own if he had overheard Mr. Knightley and dear Mrs. Taylor talking. He was not overhearing on purpose, of course not, but he leaned in to hear what they were conversing about.

“I can not think this friendship with Brendan Smith is a good thing,” he heard Henry say. Louis fought not to roll his eyes. Of course Henry would find fault with his actions in some way. It seemed that he always did.

His former governess tutted her voice.

“Why should you think that? I can see only good things happening from it. He was kind to throw Brendan a party, the boy is so happy with the attention,” she said.

There was a noncommittal noise from Henry.

“Yes, and you do not find that a bit harmful? Such attention can amount to nothing if Louis fills his head up with nonsense,” Henry said doubtfully.

Louis was seething inside. How dare he say that?

“Mr. Knightley, you discredit Louis here. You know he is the sweetest and dearest person alive. He only ever seeks to help, and I find myself happy that he has picked Brendan to be his close companion,” Taylor said, admonishing the man.

Louis’ heart warmed at his friend’s confidence in him.  
“We shall see, I suppose,” Henry replied, noncommittally. There was a pause and then he continued

“Louis has always said he would never marry but I would not think it a bad thing for him to be in love….yes, I should like to see him in love and with some doubt of its’ return. It would do him good”

Louis had half a mind to stalk out from the corridor to answer to the man’s impertinent commentary but Taylor was already answering.  
“You speak so surely for a single man of means that has yet to be married. You know that Louis is happy at Hartfield and there are so few men of his age and consequence here. I cannot wish him to form an attachment and enter into the state of matrimony just yet.”

Louis shook his head and crept away from their conversation. He would show Mr. Knightley exactly what he was capable of.

The rest of the party went well, and Louis was gladdened to see that Brendan and Mr. Winston were getting along even if they might need a nudge in the right direction. Yes, he was confident that he had made the right match.

~~~~

Louis was not really an artist. He loved painting, but he did not have a great gift for it. He was determined to paint Brendan and to send it off to get framed. It was a bright autumn afternoon when he decided to paint Brendan near the garden. His hands were up, clasped towards the heavens. Louis had placed a flower crown of daisies upon his head. Truthfully, Louis hoped that Mr. Winston would walk by as he usually did to look upon Brendan’s visage. He was truly looking lovely and painting him was no hard task.

“When Mr. Winston sees this, I think that he will be even more enraptured by you!” Louis said, as Brendan blushed.

“Do you really think so?” Brendan asked, dropping his pose.

“Please do not move, I am still not finished,” Louis said, gesturing for his friend to pick up the pose again.

“I see that you are up to your schemes again,” he heard a voice from close behind say. Louis half turned to see Mr. Knightley right next to him.

“Come to mock my artistry again? You know I have little talent for portraits, but I am practicing like you are always imploring me to do,” Louis said, hand shaking a bit under the close scrutiny of Henry’s gaze. Really, he must do it to unnerve him.   
  
“Yes, indeed I see that,” Henry said, grinning.

Louis was not too bothered as he saw Mr. Winstons large hat bobbing to and from in front of the fence. He quickly bushed Henry to the side much to the man’s amusement.

“Here is someone that truly understands an artist,” Louis

declared, watching as Mr. Winston came strutting towards them.“Looks a bit like a peacock do not you think?” Henry murmured into his ear, and Louis had to stifle a laugh. He composed himself as Mr. Winston came nearer.

Mr. Winston was indeed delighted with the portrait. He declared it the finest work of art, which was a little too excessive of praise, but Louis chalked it up to the fine subject.

“I will take it to London to get only the finest frame,” he said, sketching a bow towards Louis. “Only the best for Mr. Tomlinson.”  
  
Louis moved to where Brendan was in full view.  
“The subject is so much better than my modest portrait lines, vicar,” Louis said, gesturing towards his friend.

“Ah, yes I see.” He watched as Brendan batted a few butterflies that decided to land upon him.

“Even nature loves him,” Louis said, trying to show Brendan to his best advantage. Mr. Winston did not stay much longer, promising to take the painting to London the next day.

“I do hope you know what you’re doing with that one, Louis,” Mr. Knightley said skeptically as they watched Mr. Winston leave.

“Oh, you are still here? You never want me to have peace of mind do you?” Louis asked playfully.

Henry looked close enough to say something, but he did not. He bid him good day, and Louis tried not to feel too slighted. Certainly, Henry did not agree with him, but Louis did take matchmaking seriously even if no one thought he did. He sighed and put the finishing touches on his small painting.

~~~~~

Louis was just settling down with a a cup of tea when Brendan came running into the parlor. His hat was soggy with rain, the ribbons dripping. He thrust a letter towards Louis, who gently took it from his trembling hands.  
  
“He has asked me to marry him!” he said, flinging off his overcoat.

Louis heart leapt. Could it be Mr. Winston? So soon?

He broke the shallow seal and looked at it with glee until he noticed the handwriting was not Mr. Winston’s handwriting at all. It was Mr. Martin. He was filled with dismay at the declaration of intent to marry his friend.

“It is a good letter is it not?” Brendan said, his teeth sinking into his lip.

Louis surveyed the letter.

“Yes, it is a good letter. His sisters must have helped him with it. Well, I am sorry for him knowing what your answer must be,” Louis said, handing the letter back.

Brendan looked up from where he had thrown himself onto the settee.  
“You mean that I should refuse him?” Brendan asked, his voice trembling.   


“I cannot possibly offer you any advice on what you must do. I had thought that perhaps you had moved on from that infatuation,” Louis said, keeping his voice even although he wanted so badly to tell Brendan to refuse the proposal.  
“I desperately need your advice,” Brendan implored, getting up from the settee to kneel by Louis’ side.

“I think you ought to refuse him but only if you are absolutely certain. I do not wish to change your own mind if it is made up,” Louis said.

Brendan looked upset, which is not what Louis had intended for him to feel, but he felt the need to be resolute. If he crumbled now, then what if Brendan did accept Mr. Martin? He would not be invited to parties and dinners after that change in station. No, he would just have to hope Brendan came to his senses by himself. He blatantly refused to catch his friends imploring gaze.

“I have decided…that is I have made up my mind…” He looked searchingly in Louis direction.

“I have made up my mind to refuse Mr. Martin,” Brendan finally said, albeit not as enthusiastically as Louis would like.

Louis whirled around and clasped his hands together.

“Oh thank goodness that is what you have decided! I am so glad. I could never have entertained you at Hartfield as a farmer’s wife, dear Brendan, you deserve much better. Indeed, I am glad you have put that unfortunate business out of your head,” Louis exclaimed.

“But what shall I answer him? He has given me this beautiful letter, and I should just refuse him so plainly?” Brendan asked.  
Louis took the letter out of Brendan’s hand and smoothed it over the table.  
  
“I shall help you compose a note to Mr. Martin informing him that you have no plans to wed at this time. It will be smart and it will be precise, and then we shall hear no more about it,” Louis said, fishing out a brand new piece of parchment from his desk.

Louis helped his friend pen a letter that was to be delivered post haste to Mr. Martin’s farm. He knew that Brendan must feel a little sad now that was over, but he truly felt this was in his friend's best interest. Especially now that Brendan was free from all infatuations. Louis could work on an engagement to the right man.

~~~~~~

The day after when Louis had just been in from tending the garden, Mr. Knightley appeared in a fury. Louis was startled to see him so animated.

“What is this about Brendan Smith refusing Robert Martin?” he asked clearly.  
Louis sighed and set down his flower basket. He had to crane to look into Henry’s blue eyes, which were fixed on him. Sometimes he forgot how magnetic the man was, how handsome. He was not intent on looking handsome now. He looked mad at him. Again.

“He has refused Mr. Martin, and that is all there is to it. He did not want to marry him. That is the end of it,” Louis said just as clearly.“I think you and I both know that is not the end of it. I encouraged Robert Martin to ask for his hand in marriage. Brendan is rather silly, but I think they would have made each other happy,” Henry said, clearly annoyed.  
“I think Brendan is going to make a fine match for himself, and it will not be to a mere farmer,” Louis said, loftily.

Henry started to shake his head, irritating Louis. He always acted as if he knew better than him. He had not seen Brendan and Mr. Winston together! He did not analyze the benefits of such a situation for Brendan. Louis began to take the flower cuttings out of his basket. Henry moved closer to him as he did this.

“Did you see the letter he wrote? He came to me, the saddest man in England to show a letter he received back. So cold and formal was this letter that I do not think Brendan had penned it. I think that you did,” Henry said lowly, making Louis pause.

Louis did in fact pen the letter, but he was flustered that he was caught out. He put some distance between himself and Henry, starting to cut the flowers to arrange them in a vase.

“There is nothing wrong with bettering oneself, Mr. Knightley. And why is it that Brendan should not hope for a better match?” he asked.   
“What possible match could you think of between your young friend other than someone who cares for him dearly? Surely you are not thinking of Mr. Winston perhaps?” Henry asked. 

Louis was thinking of that precise man, but he deigned not notice how his body betrayed him with his silence.

“Do you seriously think that Mr. Winston is not in search of a wealthy bride? If you would hear him at the gentleman’s club you would know that he has his eye set on an heiress for his future. He is not happy just to be a curate and respected around this area. You would not think him such a paragon if you heard him speaking thus” Henry continued.

“Brendan is just the sort of man that Mr. Winston needs to take charge of him and his parish,” Louis said animatedly. He pushed the flowers away from him so off kilter was he.

“Oh, Louis,” Henry had changed to sardonic levels of pity, which Louis bristled at immediately.  
“While Brendan is a happy and fine young fellow, he has nothing more than a pretty face to recommend him,” he said.  
Louis whirled around.

“You dare to tell me who is just a pretty face? Brendan may not be the most intelligent or the most lively, but he is a kind person, very well suited to be someone’s partner,” Louis said hotly.

Louis realized they had come quite close in their argument, Henry’s nose would only have to brush Louis’ cheek if he bent it at an angle. He flushed, wondering why his mind had brought that to his attention.

Henry stepped back. “I do fear you are going to do Brendan injury by setting him up in this way,” he said quietly.

“I only hope that Mr. Martin wasn’t too disappointed,” Louis sniffed. He turned away from Henry, miffed. He could not even focus on the lovely flowers that he had cut.

“No man could be more so,” Henry replied.

Louis softened. “Truly, I am sorry, but I will not go against my instincts. I have counseled Brendan in every way I can,” he said. It was all that he could do not to look at Henry again. He knew that in some way he had disappointed the man for whatever reason. Mr. Martin was lucky to have a friend such as he. He gave into his instincts and turned towards Henry, looking into the face he knew so well.

The bluster of the man was gone, but Henry looked at him as if he were a puzzle to be solved.

“I cannot understand you sometimes, Louis.” There was neither rage nor caution in his tone. He took his leave of him as quickly as he appeared.

“That man is the very devil,” Louis muttered. Now he was out of sorts again and all thanks to Henry for putting that poor farmer into his mind.  
There was no accounting for taste when it came to Brendan, but he had to admit that Henry usually had sound judgement. He was a fair landholder, he worked with his tenants, although he never used his carriage, which was irritating.  
He told Louis that he liked walking the land and using exercise to build his mind. Louis rolled his eyes inwardly but smiled. Henry was always doing all sorts of nonsense like that.

He deliberately plumped up some cushions and blew out his breath. He was frustrated by Henry’s attempts to derail the engagement, and why should he? He always acted like he knew better because he was seven years older, what difference did that even make? Tea would do very nicely now, he decided for himself and rang the bell.

~~~~~

The picture had been framed. Louis was tremendously happy even though the frame was more ornate than he thought Mr. Winston would choose.

“Louis, you have made him too tall,” Mr. Tomlinson said. Louis pretended not to hear him.

“I think he he is the perfect height!” Mr Winston said. “Look how Louis has captured the perfect innocence of Mr Smith. Magnificent.”

Louis smiled over at Brendan, who was predictably blushing. He knew that his artistic skills were not on that level, but if Mr. Winston saw it there, then it must be.

“Thank you for so graciously taking it to London for us. We shall hang it in the small gallery,” Louis said. He tried to maneuver the man’s attention to Brendan, but Mr. Winston stood across from Louis.

He was a little annoyed with Mr. Elton. Brendan had been sitting for days to get the picture finished, and he was only talking with Louis. Perhaps he was shy? No, he did not think it in the man’s nature. More likely Mr. Winston simply did not know he was in love yet.

“Let’s go for a walk in the garden, Brendan?” Louis asked, grabbing for his arm. He did not wait for him to agree and he knew that Mr. Winston would follow.

“Don’t stay out too late, Louis! I feel a chill coming on!” Louis’ father yelled after him.

Outside it was a riot of blossoms, it was near the end of summer, the heat was still stifling. He pushed Brendan a little ahead of him where he stood unsurely.

“Oh, Mr. Winston go ahead with Brendan, I must tie my shoe, go on!” He shooed Mr. Winston towards his friend. Of course Brendan looked the picture of health and happiness.  
What a beautiful couple they make, he thought dreamily. But of course Mr. Winston had no idea how to romance anyone. Louis would need to help him along. No flowers for Brendan? No adoring looks? Really this wasn’t to be born. He would have to work harder than he previously thought.

~~~~

A few days later, Louis’ beloved sister came to stay. She had been married a years before and came to visit various times during the year. She was older than Louis, but he did enjoy spending time with her and her children.

“I have missed you so much, Louis, and you have grown even more pretty!” Charlotte said as he hugged her.

Henry was already there watching the proceedings. Louis did not know why he felt so off center with him, they usually were not like this. Henry would tease him and Louis would take it with good humor, but the tension that he felt recently threw him off balance. He did not know what to do or say when he was around him.

“I hope that you will introduce us to your new friend that you have been writing about,” Charlotte said as he let her inside. Her two children were playing with each other, or rather fighting over two toys.

“I am sure you will meet him presently,” Louis said, smiling. They watched the children fondly. Emily was six, Lucas four, and the baby was only a few months old. Charlotte gave him the baby to hold and Louis cuddled her in his arms.

Henry was watching him with the baby, a small smile on his lips. Louis almost wished Henry was not so handsome, it was disconcerting at times with his attention fixed so.

“I hope you’re not coming to quarrel with me again,” Louis said, as Henry reached out to touch the baby’s feather soft cheek.

“No,” he agreed. “I have not coming to quarrel with you.”

Louis bit his lip and then decided to apologize.  
“I am sorry that I was so harsh about Mr. Martin. I am truly sorry that he feels so badly. I know that you do not agree with me especially on these matters, but I am trying my best for Brendan.”

“I know that you are, so let us part friends and we will speculate no more about it. I will keep my own counsel, and you shall keep yours,” Henry said.

He turned away while Louis sat rocking the baby, smiling down at her.

“You look very well with a babe in your arms,” Henry said and before Louis could answer, he had left the room. Louis felt himself going red, which was quite ridiculous. Confound that man for always getting under his skin!

~~~~~~~~

The Christmas party was there before Louis knew it. He still had not seen any great leaps and bounds between Brendan and Mr. Winston and the cherry on top of it was—

“You cannot be sick for the Christmas party!” Louis gasped, hoping that Brendan was ready and willing to go shopping for a new frock and instead, he was sick and confined to bed.

“What will I tell Mr. Winston? He will be so upset that he missed you,” Louis said. He sat on the edge of the bed, away from the feeble sneezes he heard.

  
“I cannot believe this twist of fate! It is going to be very dull without you,” Louis said, and meant it.

Brendan with his cherry red nose and feeble sneezes pulled at Louis’ heartstrings. He could not help but to summon the doctor. He left his friend in the care of the doting old doctor and made his way back to Hartfield. He had been so excited about a party, and now it was a little duller without his friend to cheer him.  
Oh well, he would have make the best of it like he always did.

  
The winter sky promised snow, but the party was being held only a few miles away, certainly nothing that would be impassable if the weather proved true. Perhaps he would have to leave early with his father anyway. He had a dreadful fear of snow.

Louis wore a new frock of red and gold, perfect for the Christmas season. His hair had been done up by his maid, in small ringlets that shone like gold when the candlelight touched it.  
Charlotte and her husband, Tom, rode in a separate carriage from Louis and his father. The vicar had requested that they pick him up along the way. It had been a perfectly splendid idea until Brendan fell ill. Louis said in a loud, clear voice.  
  
“We are very disappointed that Brendan could not be with us,” for the benefit of the vicar in front of him. Mr. Winston affected sadness for one moment and then cheerfully said that they would still enjoy the forthcoming party. Louis wondered how the man could be cheerful when his love was sick, but perhaps he was overly affected by the holiday spirit.  
  
It was chill as they entered into Mrs & Mrs. Taylor’s home, but it soon warmed as they made their way into the dining room. Mr. Winston was like a thorn in Louis’ side the whole evening.  
Did Louis want a wrap? Did Louis need refreshment? It was terrible annoying. He only wanted to hear what Taylor’s nephews letter had to say, was he coming to Hartfield at last? But Mr. Winstons solicitude would not end. Louis was exasperated until Mr. Knightley asked to talk with him.

“My goodness, I have never met a more tiring man in my life—and I live with my father!” Louis whispered to him, making sure the man was nowhere near him.

Henry laughed at this with warmth in his voice.

“Perhaps Mr. Winston is just enraptured by your charms,” Henry said with a brow raised.

“Oh, you are very droll tonight. It is clear he wishes to vex me because Brendan is not here. And do not bite your lips at me, sir, I know exactly what you think on the matter, and I will not argue with you,” Louis said, placing his hands on his hips.

“Darling, I am not going to fight with you, I was trying to save you from having to answer his same questions over and over. There are only so many glasses of ratafia one can drink,” Henry said in a droll voice.

Louis wondered to himself had Henry ever called him darling before?He did not dwell on it as they continued to talk, but the question remained unanswered.  
“I do hope it is not going to snow, you know how father gets into a state when it does. Even though we do not have very far to go. I suppose you walked here?” Louis said, eyebrow raised.  
  
“You would suppose correctly,” Henry said, a twinkle in his eyes.

“I do not understand why you have a carriage and never use it! A gentlemen would use his carriage to attend parties,” Louis said.

“Perhaps I am not like other gentlemen you know,” Henry responded, taking a step closer to Louis so that they were very close indeed.

“Perhaps you are not,” Louis said, smiling.

They were standing very closely to each other, and if Mr. Winston had not broken into their tête-à-tête, Louis might have gained some insight into Mr. Knightley’s mind. Alas, it was not meant to be for another glass of wine was being thrust into Louis’ hand even though he did not ask for one.  
He pasted a fake smile on his face. He had never before been so annoyed by Mr. Winston. He had been giving him more attention lately because of Brendan, but for himself he did not care to be around him.  
For his own sake, he wished that Mr. Winston would deign to talk about anything other than himself and his pursuits. It was wearisome indeed.

The calamity of snow had indeed come when they had just finished dinner. Mr. Tomlinson was stricken by the desire to go home at once before anything calamitous could befall them. Louis was saying goodbye to their hostess, finding that his father had taken the first carriage with his sister and brother-in-law leaving him with Mr. Winston. He grimaced to himself, but he was already being handed in the carriage. The vicar was already there sitting opposite him. Louis fiddled with his cloak and gave him a terse smile.

The carriage ride proceeded at a laborious pace. Louis smiled at Mr. Winston courteously, neither appeasing him or engaging him in conversation but keeping him at a polite distance.  
Louis did not think he had ever been alone with Mr. Winston in such close quarters before.  
He longed to look out the window and into the snow filled night, but he felt that he should at least be civil. The air of awkward silence prevailed. How he wished Henry would have taken his carriage. At least then he would not feel so out of sorts.

“Louis, I can bear it no longer,” Mr. Winston burst out. Louis’ looked over to where the vicar sat, astonished by the use of his first name.

“I beg your pardon?” Louis said, shocked to his core.

Mr. Winston gave him a sly smirk. “I think you know exactly what I am talking about, Louis. All these ploys to get me alone? The amount of times you have tried to gain my attention? I must confess to you that I had no dream of matrimony when I came to the village, but you have quite won me over,” he said, scooting to the edge of the carriage seat.

“I am terribly sorry Mr. Winston, but I think that you mistake me for Brendan Smith. Please direct your attentions to him and not me,” Louis said, amazed at the man’s nerve.

Mr. Winston looked puzzled for a moment. “Mr. Smith? Why should I ever think of Mr. Smith? He is nothing to me if only a friend to you,” he said plainly.

So unwelcome was this news that Louis did not even register Mr. Winston coming to sit by beside him on the cushion. How could he have been so utterly wrong? He felt despair settle into his heart for how he had encouraged Brendan’s affections in this quarter.

A soft hand touched his, trying to grasp his fingers.

Louis gasped and pushed Mr. Winston back towards the opposite carriage bench.

“How dare you, sir! I have no strong feelings for you in any way shape or form, nor do I confess that I have ever felt like that would come to pass,” Louis said, flabbergasted that the man would even try to propose to him in such a way.  
  
“But you have often encouraged me!” Mr. Winston started to say when Louis cut him off directly.

“I am sorry if you have felt as if my affections for you were something different. As for myself, any affection from you, I had thought was coming to my friend, Brendan. And now I am heartily sorry I said anything at all,” Louis finished coldly. He did not want to even look at the odious man.  
Mr. Winston sat looking heavily at him with what Louis wanted to say was discomfiture. He felt he must end the subject abruptly and finally. 

“Mr. Winston, I am not looking to get married at all presently. I do not wish to say anymore about it.”

Louis turned his head to look at the window now, wishing he was home. Mr. Winston had turned an interesting shade of puce and yelled for the carriage to be stopped.

He did not wish Louis good night, but he jumped out into the hedge grove. It was just as well for Louis did not want to see Mr. Winston ever again. The absolute nerve of the man to try and propose to him! Meanwhile poor Brendan was sick at home thinking of Mr. Winston.  
  
He worried in his mind that Brendan would never get over this. How he had built up that awful man in Brendan’s mind. Dash all his plans to matchmake! Mr. Knightley's warning came back into his mind, he really should have listened, and now it was too late. Whatever was he going to tell Brendan?

~~~~~~~

Christmas passed, and Louis was still in a quandary about what to do with poor Brendan. He had indulged in a fantasy of Mr. Winston that was so far from the truth. Now he had realized how foolish he had been. Mr. Winston was not even a superior man like Mr. Knightley, the illusion had all come tumbling down when he had confessed his love for Louis. To think that Louis had unknowingly given him attention and encouragement, he shivered at the thought.

“Brendan, I do hope this will not bring your spirits too low,” Louis said after he had confessed the whole affair to him. Brendan bore it with sweetness and good cheer although Louis saw how it affected his self esteem.

“Of course it was kind of you to think Mr. Winston would fancy me. He is so far above me in every way, only you should think of it,” Brendan said, tears in his eyes.

Louis’ heart hurt for his friend. If only Brendan knew that he was worth one thousand Mr. Winstons. He was finally recovering form his cold and they were sitting in the casement window of Brendan’s room.  
The season was now the last days of December before the new year. Louis was determined to do better. He had failed his friend and he had failed himself.  
God knows he had proved Henry right about him. Perhaps he was too ready to go off on flights of fancy based on nothing but supposition.

It was uncomfortable to realize the truth. He should have known better than to try and make a match. He expected better from himself.

“Brendan, you are a dear friend of mine. If anything it is Mr. Winston that has betrayed us both in this manner,” Louis finally said.

“Oh, but of course he would want you over me!” Brendan said. “You are so much richer, prettier, and livelier than I will ever be.” He lapsed back into silence.

Louis sighed. Building Brendan’s confidence back up was going to be harder than he thought.

~~~~~~

To Louis’ relief, Mr. Winston had gone to Bath for some reason or another. Louis did not really care why, only that he had gone. It was a relief not to dread to meet the man. He had hoped that Brendan would be getting over him soon, although he still looked wistfully at the vicarage whenever they passed by.  
Louis had decided that he would not matchmake anymore. Even if he was good at it, it was better not to hurt anyone’s feelings. It was with these thoughts that he was visiting Taylor and Bella at their home. Bella had expressed interest in him meeting her nephew, but it was not meant to be again.

“I am heartily sorry that he cannot visit at all. Surely his aunt is not that ill?” Louis said, as they took tea in the drawing room.

“She keeps him near her, she always has,” Bella said.

“I guess it is not so very odd. It is to his credit that he is there for her,” Louis said approvingly.

It was something that he and Mr. Knightley had quarreled about the other day. Louis thought back to the conversation they had but yesterday.

The topic of their conversation had turned to members that did not live in Highbury. Louis had always expressed interest in meeting Richard Churchill, knowing they were of the same age.

“Depend upon it, he is a foolish young man. He is desperate to remain near his aunt's fortune,” Henry said as they had walked in the park, during their usual hour.

“How can you say this? You have never met him either. I do not see how it is foolish to be near your guardian. Only think of what you would have done in his place,” Louis said, reprovingly.

“I think everyone is always so ready to forgive him when he does something wrong. And what is the justification? He is a young man, healthy and able, and yet he does not go off into the world to seek his place. He stays near his aunt hoping that she chooses him for inheritance,” Henry said, scoffing.

Louis could not agree with this. Perhaps he was more ready to forgive the mysterious Richard because of his connections with Taylor and Bella, but he still had yet to meet him.

“I’m sure he is a very congenial young man who is just as he ought to be,” Louis said primly.

Henry looked put out. Why was it that recently they had disagreed upon so many things?   
  
“You always act that because you are older than me, you are wiser. That is simply not the case!” Louis said, fighting the urge to stamp his foot. Of course he would not, they were in a public park and Henry would tease him so.

“Your good natured naivety serves you well, but I see that we will not agree on this matter,” Henry said, firmly.

It was Louis’ turn to scoff. He was not being naive. He had not even met the man in question and neither had Henry. They had passed the rest of the hour with little talk between them.

He sighed as he was brought out of his musings by Taylor tapping him on the house.

“I see you are not attending to us in the least,” she said, but with good humor.

“I am sorry, I must be out of sorts today. I have an obligation to go to the Bates’ with Brendan. Perhaps that is why my mind is wandering.”

“It is fine, dearest,” Bella said. “We always love seeing you no matter your mood.”

He wished them farewell and went to collect Brendan for the trip to the Bates.

~~~~

The Bates’ lived in a small apartment-like building in the center of the village. Their flat was at the top of an ancient stair. They were dependent upon the small millinery living they made but also the charity that Louis, as one of the wealthier citizens, provided them.

He had known the Bates’ all his life. They almost seemed like maiden aunts to him. The only problem was that the younger Miss Bates was a dreadful talker who was prone to go on for hours and hours.  
Louis did not think he had ever seen her quiet. She was in her early forties and considered a spinster.  
Louis did feel sorry for her, and perhaps it was why he felt that he should have to listen to her talk about her nephew. Someone he had never met but always wanted to. The mysterious Zayn.  
Suffice to to say that Louis wanted to meet him rather badly. Apparently, he had been working for a very wealthy family and his charge had just been engaged therefore not requiring his presence as a chaperone or tutor any longer.   


It was quite cramped in the apartment, but they made do, Louis trying to tuck his skirts inward.

Miss Bates had plenty to tell Louis and Brendan. They had barely sat down before she was quivering with excitement over a letter from Zayn.

“He is coming to stay for awhile!” she said gleefully. “Mother and I are so very excited! It has been so long since he has been here. And I do hope you will try and make him feel welcome. He is very shy, the dear,” she said.

Louis had barely agreed before she was prattling on about something else.

“Oh, and did you know that Mr. Winston is engaged?”

Louis almost dropped his tea cup so horrified was he.

“Engaged?” he said, struggling to process this. “I had no idea he had any idea of marrying so soon.”

He quickly looked at Brendan, who had tears in his eyes. Just when he was getting over him! Blast the man.

“Oh yes, he is getting married to a Miss Lou Teasdale, a great heiress of a family that he stayed with in Bath,” she said. Of course he had gone to Bath to find a wife with a fortune.

Louis was fuming. He was sure that this heiress, whoever she was, was nothing like Brendan.

“Oh. Look at the time, we must be going, I had forgotten to pick up something at the butchers. We will call in a few days to meet Zayn,” Louis said, popping up from his seat.

“Oh, but you just got here!” Miss Bates shouted to no avail. There was no way he was going to listen to her talk about that odious man.

Louis quickly tried to steer Brendan out of the small sitting room. He was crying and Louis could curse himself for his stupidity. He breathed a sigh of relief as the exited the building, breathing the fresh winter air.

“Oh darling, you mustn’t cry. He is not worth it at all! I hope you know that I remonstrate with myself daily for encouraging you to look at Mr. Winston as a paragon,” he said to himself and to Brendan.

“You were only trying to do what was best for me,” Brendan said, with a watery smile.  
“Here is some news to cheer you up,” Louis started. “Richard and Zayn are coming to Highbury. Soon we will have so much company, we will not have time to think of Mr. Winston and his wretched bride,” Louis said. He could only hope that Richard would be coming around the same time as Zayn.

“But Louis I am sure she is wonderful if Mr. Winston is to be wed to her. I cannot feel too badly,” Brandon said, innocently.

Louis knew this was probably not the case. Mr. Winston had married for money.

“We will visit the millinery for some new ribbons, that will cheer you up,” Louis said, wiping Brendan’s tears with his handkerchief.

In fact, the millinery was always crowded with people seeking the newest fashions. Louis liked to look at the different colors of ribbons to adorn his hats with, and he was determined to raise Brendan’s spirits with the exercise.

They had not been in the shop for very long that Brendan spotted Mr. Robert Smith’s sisters.

“They are looking over here at me,” he squeaked, being as inconspicuous as ever.

“Well, I suppose you must go over and speak to them,” Louis said, knowing this would cheer his friend up but inwardly sighing.

He watched Brendan scurry over, curtseying to the two girls. Louis halfheartedly looked through the silk ribbons. He did not much feel like browsing now.

For what felt like an age, he stood there waiting for Brendan to come back.

“They have invited me to come over for tea tomorrow!” Brendan said when he made his way back over. His face was shining, and Louis felt his own spirits lift. He could not deny that Brendan looked happier than he had all day.

“I suppose that I could drop you off in the carriage,” Louis said, knowing that he could probably see to it that the visit was as short as it could be.

“Oh that is so kind of you, Louis. I am ever so excited! They have baby lambs now! And I am sure that Robert will not be at home,” Brendan said.

Louis walked with his friend back to his lodgings at the school. He promised to call on him the next day to pick him up and hugged him goodbye.

Louis let his mind wander as he made his way back to where his carriage and driver were waiting in the town square. He could not believe that Mr. Winston had gotten engaged that fast. Why an heiress would want to marry a poor county cleric was beyond Louis’ comprehension. It was these thoughts that occupied his mind as he went home.

~~~~

Mr. Knightley had been waiting for him in the drawing room.  
“Henry, this is a pleasant surprise,” he said, feeling his spirits lighten.

“I am very glad to hear that,” Henry said, smiling.  
  
Louis was getting worried about the feelings that Henry inspired, how his whole heart felt like it was going to burst whenever Henry so much as looked at him. He felt his cheeks heat and cursed himself.  
He rarely blushed for he was quite confident with men, but today he felt off. He brushed off the awkward feelings, ringing for tea.

“I assume you went to the Bates’ this afternoon,” Henry asked, pouring cream into his tea.

Louis had his own cup poised at his lips.

“Yes…” he said cautiously.

“Ms. Bates has been telling everyone about Mr. Winston’s engagement,” Henry said wryly.

“Of course you would bring that up,” Louis said, setting his cup down

“I have seen the error of my ways. Mr. Winston was not the man for Brendan at all,” Louis lamented.

Henry quirked his eyebrows, seemingly about to speak, but Louis rushed to continue.

“Oh, please do not lecture me about it. I feel truly awful that I let Brendan think he was in love with the man,” Louis said, remorse in every word.

Henry looked contrite.  
“I do know you were trying your best for your friend. I will not quarrel with you…this time,” Henry said, and Louis laughed, feeling lighter than he had all day.

~~~~~

The next afternoon, Louis accompanied Brendan to the Martins’ farm. He left Brendan there with a promise of picking him up in a half hour’s time. He passed the half hour idly, waiting for his friend.

He did not expect for Mr. Martin to be at home, but it seemed as if he was. 

Brendan returned with rosy cheeks and a giggle Louis had not heard in some time.

“I hope you enjoyed yourself,” Louis said even though it was apparent he had.

“Oh, Louis, I had ever such fun! And Mr. Martin was there! He asked me about how I was, and I responded that I was well. And then I asked if HE was well, and it was so funny,” Brendan said, prattling on about the goats and the bunnies and whatever other creatures a farmer had.

Louis could not find it in himself to care overmuch, he was just glad that his friend was happy. Although if he still thought of Mr. Martin in the same way…no, he told himself firmly. He was not going to redirect Brendans gaze. He was done with matchmaking.

~~~~

Zayn joined the village with some little fanfare. There was a dinner party to be held at Bella and Taylor’s. Louis was looking forward to making Zayn’s acquaintance, and yet when they did meet, Louis was rather alarmed at how reticent he seemed. Louis had tried to draw him in conversation, but they were not seated near each other, nor did he have the chance to converse with him privately. Of course this was not helped by Miss Bates always monopolizing his attention even though they lived together at this time. They ate a very good dinner before the whole party sat in the parlor where a pianoforte was situated. It had been gifted to Zayn from a mysterious benefactor. Louis was keen to know who it was from. Since there was no room at the Bates’ house, it was left at Bella and Taylor’s. Begrudgingly, Louis thought this was probably a balm for Zayn, who must find it taxing to live with a family member who would not leave him be.  
  
Louis played the piano well for someone that never practiced, and he sang a little song that he knew the Bates’ liked. He was met with applause, and he smiled prettily.

Of course, as soon as Zayn sat down at the pianoforte, he played a classical song that put Louis’ to shame.

Louis face warmed, knowing that Zayn had showed him up and bit his lip.

“He plays very well does he no?” Mr. Knightley said next to him, speaking directly into his ear. He was looking at Louis as if he knew all of his inner thoughts. Louis ignored him, feeling miffed although he did not know exactly why.  
“You should not feel jealous, you play tolerably well,” Henry said.

“Not as well as this prodigy,” Louis said, wincing when he knew how bitter he sounded.

“Now come, Louis, that does not become you. Zayn does not have all the advantages of wealth and privilege as you do,” Henry said, admonishing him.

“I know that,” Louis said, even though he knew he sounded petty. He turned away from Henry then, not wishing to sound more bitter than he already felt inside his heart. He did not wish to feel that way. He wanted to be Zayn’s friend! The piano playing slowed and there was an interlude where everyone went to get refreshments.  
“Did you know that Mr. Knightley had sent his carriage to fetch Zayn here?” Taylor confided in him as they were sipping tea, waiting for Zayn to continue to play the pianoforte.  
  
“He did not!” Louis said. “He never takes his carriage out!”

“In fact, it carried Zayn and his aunts. Very obliging of him is it not,” she said, smugly.

“I know exactly what you are implying, Taylor, and I can tell you that it is absolutely NOT the case. Henry fancying Zayn? They have just met! The idea is preposterous,” Louis said, annoyed.

“Is it now?” Taylor asked, brow arched.

“Oh, do not look at me like that” Louis said, turning away to face the sight of Zayn elegantly playing the piano.

“You do not think them a handsome couple? Henry has long since been one of the most eligible bachelors,” Taylor said. Louis watched with unease as Henry turned the pages of Zayn’s music composition. They did look remarkably well together.

“But why ever would he get married?” Louis asked. The idea seemed preposterous.

“Well, perhaps he would find himself in love, silly,” Taylor tapped her fan against Louis’ shoulder.  
  
“I would not be surprised if the gift of the pianoforte was from Mr. Knightley,” Taylor whispered behind her fan.

Louis looked at her askance.

“You cannot believe that Henry of all people would buy such an extravagant gift for someone he barely knows!” Louis whispered fiercely in Taylor’s ear.

She did not deign to respond to Louis remark, only looked at him with a knowing glance.

“Mark my words, we will see another wedding soon,” she said.

Louis tried not to let his feelings show on his face. For some reason, he could not bear to think of one of his dearest friends getting married. The idea repulsed him.  
No, Taylor was wrong. The gift could not be from Henry. It must be from some other admirer that he had yet to suss out.

He was out of sorts for the rest of the night, actually agreeing for once with his father, who wanted to leave early.

Later in his room, he was wondering why the thought of Henry being married bothered him so much. Surely the man would not change his bachelor ways for anyone. He had been single for as long as Louis had known him. Why did the thought of him being wed irritate him so? He pushed it out of his mind. Zayn’s surprise gift did make him wonder who could have sent it. Could it be from Zayn’s former employer? A farewell gift? Or could it have been from an assignation that had gone wrong? A secret admirer? He told himself that he would visit the Bates’ the next day to see what he could find out. 

~~~~~~~~

He visited the Bates’ and Zayn for the first time the next day. He sat on the settee while Miss Bates praised Zayn even though he was in the room and part of the conversation. Louis internally was rolling his eyes even though he knew he should be more kind.  
It was just so dreary to sit in a room and pretend to agree with every single word sometimes. It was not that he hated Zayn. The poor boy could barely get a word in edgewise. Louis almost felt sorry for him, but he made no move to get to know Louis. It was something that itched under his skin. There was nothing wrong with him, did Zayn dislike him for another reason?  
  
“How lovely that you brought flowers from your hothouse. So beautiful! They compliment Zayn so well, do they not?”  
Louis agreed that he did, and before Miss Bates could say anything else, he started to talk to Zayn.

“I heard that you were at Weymouth, Mr. Fairfax. Any chance that you met a Mr. Richard Churchill? I have heard such wonderful things about him and yet have not have the pleasure of meeting him,” Louis said, curiosity finally getting the better of him.

“Please, call me Zayn, and if you will permit I may call you Louis?” Zayn asked, a shy smile on his face.

Louis inclined his head in the affirmative.

“I have met Mr. Fairfax, but I do not have much to say about him,” Zayn responded. Louis waited for him to continue, but he did not.

Had he really nothing to say about this man whose name was always on someone’s lips?

“But surely you can tell me if he was handsome? If he had lively conversation?” Louis asked. If he did not know better, he would say that the other man looked uncomfortable to be talking about Mr. Fairfax.  
  
“I did not have much of a chance to converse with him. I have heard people call him handsome,” Zayn said softly.

“So it is true?” Louis asked, impatient for a clear answer.

“I would say so, yes,” Zayn responded.

They lapsed into stilted silence. Really, Louis thought, he would have better conversation with Miss Bates, but Louis was nothing if not polite.

“There is always a piano at Hartfield should you ever wish to come and practice,” Louis said. For the first time since he had arrived, Zayn gave him a genuine smile, which Louis was delighted to receive.

“That is so lovely of you to offer,” Zayn said, and they sat in silence for some moments.  
With nothing more to be said from either party and with Miss Bates making tea, Louis took his leave.

He had not expected the reticence on Zayn’s part to talk about Richard Fairfax, but perhaps they were not so well acquainted. In any case, Louis would find out exactly how the man was for he was finally coming to Highbury.

~~~~~

Richard arrived with Bella and Taylor the next afternoon at Hartfield, just as Louis was finishing the menu for dinner. He ran the household smoothly and was pleased to see that they arrived at precisely the right moment.

Richard was almost exactly as Louis had imagined. He was handsome, slightly taller than Louis, with brown eyes and a mischievous smile. He was probably one of the most handsome men in Louis’ acquaintance. He blushed under the man’s marked attention but kept up the banter.

“I am so happy we finally meet,” Louis said as they walked outside in the garden.

“I have heard such glowing praise about your wit and beauty, and I see that it is all true,” Richard said, gallantly.

“I have heard the same about you, and truth be told, it is long past the time that we should have met. I do hope that you will stay as long as you can,” Louis said, smiling.

Richard’s expression turned rueful and his gaze turned inward.

“I admit I have been remiss in my duties towards my cousin, but my aunt is very sickly and very glad of my company. I do my best to stay near to her,” Richard said.

“She lives in Weymouth does she not? I wonder if you have met a certain Mr. Zayn Fairfax? I know that he resided as a tutor there this past year,” Louis said, wondering if Richard would say anything about him.

It might have been Louis’ imagination, but did he see Richard’s expression flicker for a moment at the mention of Zayn?  
  
“Ah, yes I have met him,” was all that he said.

“Oh please, do tell me what you think of him. He has just arrived much like yourself, and I can scarcely get two or three words out of him,” Louis said, a bit peevishly.

“Ah, I understand what you mean. He is very reserved. One never knows what he is thinking, perhaps he is almost secretive,” Richard said, a sparkle in his eye.  
  
“That is just what I mean, although he is amiable enough. There are so few young people in Highbury that I feel we should all be friends,” Louis said.

“We should hold a dance!” Richard said. “Highbury must come alive for us. I shall speak to my cousin about it,” he said, his face animated and lively.

Louis was delighted. There had not been a gathering for dancing since he had come out into society.

“You must promise to save me the first dance,” Richard said, winking at him. After a moment when they stopped walking, he held Louis’ hand to his lips and gave it a chaste kiss. He gave Richard a quizzical look and blushed when he saw that Bella and Taylor were waiting for him in the entry way. They had seen the gesture. Taylor raised her brows and Bella was grinning ear to ear. He waved goodbye at them as they got into their carriage.

Later that evening as he got ready for bed, Louis wondered why he did not feel anything other than friendship for Richard. Love was supposed to make you feel breathless and aching for the other’s touch. But Louis had not felt these things with Richard. He frowned. He was everything that Louis should like.  
  
Handsome, unattached, with a lovely family. It was not as if Louis wanted to be in love, but he saw the looks Bella had been giving them as they had walked in the garden. She was trying to match make, he knew the signs. He was not opposed, but his heart was not in it. Perhaps he had to get to know Richard better.

It was so odd that in such a short space of time so many things had changed. Richard and Zayn arriving within a space of weeks between each other, Brendan getting his heart broken, Mr. Winston getting married. Louis sighed and sat staring into his handheld mirror. Was this the look of someone in love?

~~~~~  
  


Louis heard through the village gossip that Mr. Winston was set to return to Highbury. How he wished that he could have just stayed in Bath. But alas he was bringing his new bride back to the rectory.  
He warned Brendan as soon as he could.  
“Oh, but I do hope he’s happy with his new bride,” Brendan said, although he seemed a little downcast.  
“My dear, she will be nothing to you. I confess I am not looking forward to meeting her,” Louis said, knowing that of course they would be seeing them soon.

In fact, Mr. Winston and his bride came to call upon Louis and his father the next day, uninvited. Louis pursed his lips in annoyance. Not only did he require for guests to inform when they were coming, except for Mr. Knightley who had always called when he pleased, but it was quite rude.

He found Mrs. Winston overbearing and too familiar.

“This room looks JUST like my sister's home in Sussex. Quite a charming little room,” she said, picking up her tea cup and examining all the sides.

“Is the tea not to your liking?” Louis asked, wondering what she was doing.

“Oh, yes indeed darling Louis, it’s lovely. Mr. W told me not to expect too much when we came here, which I find so droll, don’t you? He is always having his little jokes,” she laughed airily, and Louis smiled although with no real effort to appear amused.

Mr. Winston looked awkward, but Louis sensed in him a vindictiveness that was not pleasant. Why he should feel the need to parade his bride in front of Louis? To show that someone thought he was attractive and marriageable. It seemed to Louis that Mrs. & Mr. Winston were two peas in a pod, both unpleasant and annoying creatures.  
  
“Also, my dear, now that were are to be neighbors and dear friends, allow me to help you with your style. Although it is fine for such a country estate as this, you clearly need more of a keen eye!” Mrs. Winston said. Before he could even begin to respond, she kept going.

“To be twenty four and still unmarried! You are SO lucky that I have arrived in this place at this time! I will take you under my wing, and you will have so many offers you will not be able to count them all!” she said, her tea cup held aloft. It was a wonder she did not spill it.

Good Lord, this was a tedious woman, Louis thought neither needing her help nor wanting it. Mrs. Winstons fashion was overt and gaudy, and Louis did not wish to copy her.

“I thank you for your kindness,” Louis said, not wishing to appear very rude, but how he wished that they would leave.

Mr. Winston was fiddling with his teacup and assuming a haughty manner as if he was too good for the company.

“Oh! And did I tell you that I met Mr. Knightley! What a charming man he is. So delightful, so artless in his charms! He is now one of my dearest friends, is Mr. K,” she continued, finally deigning to sip her tea.

Louis thought it highly unlikely that Henry was fond of her. And to give him a nickname after meeting him once!Mrs. Winston continued on, not waiting for Louis to respond or for her husband to say anything.

“I have also met that sweet Zayn Fairfax. What a beautiful young man! I have also told him also about how I can help with his marriage prospects. I hope that we shall you at the dinner, my dear? Very good. Well, come along Mr. W, we have MANY more people to visit today. Ta!” she said, grabbing Mr. Winston by his sleeve. He narrowly avoided dropping his tea cup.

What an odious couple, Louis thought to himself as they finally left. He was glad for once that his match making did not come to pass. He could not imagine Brendan being saddled with such a man as Mr. Winston. A man who turned out to have no principles at all and saddled himself with such an annoying, rich wife.

He was still contemplating the meeting when Henry showed himself in.

“Have I caught you woolgathering?” he asked, setting his hat down on the pianoforte. Louis craned his neck up to see him, forgetting how very tall Henry was.

“I was thinking about the Winstons. They have just left not half an hour ago, and their visit felt like it was twice as long,” Louis said, giving an over exaggerated sigh.

“Ah,” Henry said, sitting down in the chair that Mr. Winston had vacated.

“Shall I call for some fresh tea?” Louis asked.

“No, this is fine. I just was walking home and decided to stop in for a moment to see you,” Henry said, giving him a warm glance.  
  
Louis smiled. It was just like Henry to check on him.

“Well, I am heartily glad to see you as I always am. Have you taken your carriage out again, or did you walk as you usually do?” Louis asked teasingly.

“You know that I do not take my carriage out except for special occasions,” Henry said, and Louis’ heart skittered in his chest.  
Had taking Zayn in the carriage been a special occasion? He fought not to let his thoughts show on his face.

“Do not let Mrs. Winston hear you say that or she will call you plebeian,” Louis said with a strained smile.  
“I must admit she is a very tedious woman,” Henry said, hand coming up to sit at his temple.

“She seems very fond of you however,” Louis said, brow raised.

“Perhaps it is just my natural roguish charm,” he said, grinning.

Louis laughed, delighted that he could count on Henry to lighten his mood.

“She also mentioned that she is taking Zayn under her wing. I confess I hope that she does not,” Louis said after a moment’s silence.

“Hmm, and what do you expect him to do? Refuse?” Henry asked, his voice all question.

Louis was a bit taken aback.

“Surely you cannot think such a thing is wise,” he said, raising an eyebrow at Henry.

“He has no connections, no one to watch over him. At least she will try and help him socially,” Henry said, raising his hands in a placating gesture.   
  
“Here is yet another thing that we disagree on,” Louis said, sighing.

“It is not that I disagree with you, I think Mrs. Winston is a taxing person, but I think that Zayn could use the connections she provides,” Henry replied.

Louis regarded him carefully.

“You have very strong feelings when it comes to Zayn,” he said, trying to probe at Henry’s feelings.  
  
Henry’s usual calm seemed to falter.

“You are not trying to match make again are you?” he asked as if half afraid of the answer

“No, of course not!” Louis replied hotly.  
Henry regarded him in the same careful way that he usually did.

“I am not in love with Zayn if that is what you are trying to figure out. For one thing, he is too reserved by half,” he said.  
Louis let out a little sigh of relief that he hoped Henry did not catch. He knew that his inner feelings had been right and Taylor had been wrong. There was no danger of Henry falling in love with Zayn. He still was not quite sure why the idea bothered him so much.

“Am I boring you, love?” Henry asked, when Louis made no attempt to converse with him.

“Oh, no, I am sorry, I have some things on my mind,” Louis said, giving the man a small smile.

“You do know you can talk with me about anything,” Henry said, earnestly.

“Of course I know that, dearest friend,” Louis said, not seeing the pained wince Henry gave at the word friend.

Henry stayed for dinner, and Louis wondered at the feeling of peace and solicitude that came over him as he watched Henry and his father by the fire. There was a feeling that he could not name, at the tip of his tongue, but it fluttered away when he came to bid them good night.

~~~~~

  
It had been a few weeks since Richard had introduced the idea of a dance to his cousin, who was delighted by the prospect. Bella and Taylor both were wonderful planners, and so a ball was to be planned for spring.

Louis was excited, as was Brendan, by the idea of a dance. Louis commissioned himself and his friend new frocks so that would look their very best for the occasion. It seemed like no time at all until the anticipated event was there. For such a small village as Highbury, it was likely the biggest event they had ever seen.

The day of the dance dawned bright and clear. It was perfect weather. Brendan was due at Hartfield in the early afternoon so that they could both get ready together.  
He was hoping that Richard would dance with Brendan as well. A thought had been growing in his mind about the two amiable young men. Brendan had nothing but effusive kindness to say about Richard, who they regularly saw near the Bates’ house in the village.

Just think if he could successfully bring those two together! What a triumph that would be. It would be even more satisfactory to see the look on Henry’s face if he succeeded once more in making a match.  
No doubt he would find some other fault to lecture him about. Louis did not mind, he quite liked the teasing. He also knew how Henry was amused by his retorts.

~~~~

The ball, for indeed it was a ball however casually, was a roaring success as far as Louis could tell. He had never danced so much in his life or consumed so much punch.  
He was dazzled by how Richard and his cousins had transformed the old inn. It was filled to the brim with candelabras and wall sconces with burning candles. Everything looked bright and beautiful, including the participants. He even saw that Zayn had attended along with his relatives, Miss Bates chattering to anyone that would listen.

Brendan was glowing, looking every inch an English rose. Louis patted himself on the back for letting his maid tame Brendan’s hair. Louis danced almost half of the dances with Richard, who turned out to be very spry and good on his feet. The dinner was also an elegant and sumptuous affair.

Henry found Louis sipping a glass of punch near the doorway as he gazed at the chattering groups of people. It felt nice to be in a room of this size with most of the people he admired most.

Henry also looked well, dancing with most of the men and women.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Henry asked.

“Of course, and you?” Louis rejoined, tipping his glass towards the other man.

“It is more pleasant that I had anticipated,” Henry said, causing Louis to laugh.

“I am glad to hear that something that I helped to plan has your approval,” Louis said, eyes sparkling.

They spent a moment in quiet comfort and civility.

“With whom will you dance with next?” Henry asked.

Louis gave him a considering glance before placing his punch down.

“With you, if you will ask me,” Louis said, smiling.  
“We are not so much brother and sister for it to be improper?” he said, teasing, although his smile turned quizzical when Henry hesitated. Before Louis could ask what was the matter, his expression cleared.

“I would love to dance with you,” Henry said.

His large hand took ahold of Louis dainty one, leading him to the makeshift dance floor.

The tempo was slow. Louis had forgone gloves even though it was slightly improper of him to do so. He felt the strength and callous on Henry’s palm. It made him shiver inexplicably.

Henry’s eyes never left his face as they danced. Usually, Louis would banter with his dance partner or tease them, but the atmosphere was tense. And he didn’t know exactly why.

They turned in time with each other, Henry’s hands going to his waist, lips near his ear.

Louis forgot how much bigger Henry was than him. He longed to close his eyes and submit to Henry’s embrace. The thought was like cold water upon his mind. This was Henry! His closest friend and confidante. Surely he did not feel…

Henry’s breath was a warm whisper on the back of his neck, his natural rhythm calming Louis. He was looking straight into his eyes.

The dance was over too soon, but it left Louis flustered. He coughed delicately into his fist as he turned hastily away from the dance floor.

He watched as Taylor was asking Mr. Winston if he would dance.

“Of course, if you would like to dance with me, I would be most happy to,” Mr. Winston said, a smirk upon his face.

“Oh no, not me but how about young Brendan over there! He has yet to find a partner,” Taylor said, pointing towards the young man.

Mr. Winston barely spared a glance at Brendan before he was already backing away.

“I am an old bachelor, Mrs. Taylor. I’m afraid my dancing days are over,” he said and walked right past where Brendan sat.

Louis was livid. How dare Mr. Winston act as if Brendan was a social pariah. The nerve!

He could see Brendan’s eyes glistening with tears, and he was just about to cross the room to him when he saw Henry walk over towards him.

Brendan’s eyes were shining as Henry asked for his hand and allowed himself to be led on the dance floor.

Louis was smiling as Henry’s eyes found him, nodding in thanks. Truly, he was the most kind man.

He stood on the sidelines watching the dancers, knowing that his father would want to go home soon.

The rest of the night passed in a pleasant haze. He walked to his carriage, his father hobbling beside him, fretting over nothing, but Louis hardly heard him. He glowed with joy as he saw Brendan and Richard dancing and conversing, preening inwardly that they seemed to get along so well. After Henry had saved Brendan for the odious Mr. Winston’s scorn, Louis was glad to see that Richard had saved Brendan a few dances as well.

  
While Louis had danced with Richard most of the night, and while it was pleasing, it had not been the same as his dance with Henry. It was puzzling to him why he felt so strongly in comparison to Richard. It was something that he mused in the days to come.

As he got ready for bed, brushing his silky locks, he thought of how Brendan had spoken of Richard in the past few weeks. Had he seen Brendan looking at Richard more lately? With a shine to his eyes? He did believe so. What if Brendan fancied Richard? He had hoped that his musings on the two would prove correct and if so! He smiled as he set his brush down, putting his head in his hands. A match between Richard and Brendan would be so delightful. He tucked himself in bed, letting his heart warm to his new scheme.

~~~~

After the success of the ball, seeing as the days were rapidly turning from spring to summer, Mrs. Winston took it upon herself to plan an outing at none other than Mr. Knightley’s estate.

Louis himself had spent many afternoons at Henry’s lovely home, Donwell Abbey. However, he could not remember every planning a party at his home. Of course, Mrs. Winston forced herself upon the idea of a strawberry picking party.

Donwell Abbey had a farm and fields but also gardens of strawberries. Louis was not averse to such an occasion but only wished Mrs. Winston and her husband were not to be in attendance. Alas, his wishes were not granted.

~~~~

The day for the picnic arrived, and Louis was happy to be going to Henry’s estate to pick strawberries alongside some of his friends. He had picked out an outfit with enormous care seeing as it was going to be stifling hot. His pelisse was trimmed with pink and orange, and his wide brimmed hat was similarly trussed with a long ribbon in the back. He grabbed one of his parasols and kept it in his hand, knowing how hot it would get.

He twirled in front of the mirror excitedly. His maid handed him his gloves, and he was off in the carriage to pick up Brendan.

Mrs. Winston Mr. Winston, Zayn, Miss Bates, Richard, Brendan, Mr. Knightley, and himself made up the party.  
Brendan had been particularly excited to see the farm and the expanse of Henry’s land. Louis of course wondered why he was so keen since the Winston’s were also participating, but he put it out of his mind.  
He was hoping that Zayn would talk with him, but Mrs.Winston had made it her mission to prioritize Zayn in all that she did. Louis did not envy him for she was forever trying to have Zayn settle down as a governess for one of her family friends.

Zayn bore it well, although Louis could see it annoyed him. He was quiet and virtually impenetrable as much as Louis tried to talk with him. Perhaps he just did not like Louis. He sighed as they trudged up the hill from Henry’s house to the strawberry gardens.

At least Richard was trying to have a good time. He paid every little attention to Louis, praising his pink and lace wardrobe, his bonnet. Louis blushed at the attention he was receiving, he could not help it.  
He thought it just friendly, but he could not be too sure. For some reason it made him feel a little guilty. He saw that Zayn was trying not to watch them interact and he wondered why. Henry too would give them a side glance now and then.

Louis was a little baffled by the attention and by how close Richard stood to him.  
Henry gave them a tour of his house, a beautiful sprawling mansion with art and statues aplenty. Louis loved it.

Mrs. Winston was bragging about how this reminded her so much of her cousin’s home in London and Louis rolled his eyes, unable to stop the gesture.

She was forever talking about her connections. It almost made Louis wonder why she had married a curate if she was as well connected as she said.

After they had picked the strawberries and the baskets were given to the servants, they promenaded towards the top of the hill where they could partake some cold lemonade. The strawberries they did pick would be wrapped up and placed in the larder for them to take home.

It was a beautiful spring day. They sat at various places on the ground, blankets spread out. Richard was lolling next to Louis, who was holding his parasol above him. He twirled it aimlessly, wishing that it was not so humid.

“This is so very delightful,” Mrs. Winston said in her high, priggishvoice. The woman could never leave the silence unaltered.  
  
“I never know what I am to do in the country, but this is lovely. I do so love your estate, Mr. K,” she said to Henry, who was seated near the top of the gathered company.

“I am glad that you enjoy it,” Henry said, politely.

Richard was beside Louis as he had been all day, and the others were scattered between and behind them, making Richard and Louis in the center. The company was quiet and a small bit uncomfortable. Louis did not know if it was the weather or if everyone was in an odd mood, but he almost wished the party would be over.

Richard turned so that he could address everyone, and in the still silence, it echoed.

“I demand to know what you all are thinking. Louis? What are you thinking right now?” Richard asked, scooting closer to him, which was rather close already.

Louis was perplexed by the sudden change of behavior in his friend. Why suddenly did he want so much attention?

“Why, I have no idea what you mean, Mr. Churchill,” he said, giving him a warm smile. He at least was going to try and be pleasant.

“Do you REALLY want to know what we are thinking, Mr. Churchill,” Henry asked from where he sat near Zayn.

He had given Zayn special attention all afternoon, which irritated Louis’ nerves. Even more that Zayn seemed to ignore Richard and Louis especially. He ignored Henry and turned back to Richard.

“I should find it odd if we all just said what we were thinking,” Louis replied.

“We should play a game,” Richard said from his lounging position by Louis’ side.

“What kind of game would you like to play?” Louis asked, trying to make things at least seem like they were going well.

“I say, that everyone must tell Miss Tomlinson one clever thing or perhaps two things moderately clever. If that fails, then three things that are very dull indeed,” Richard suggested, opening his arms up towards the group.   
Miss Bates tittered at the edge of the group.

“Oh, well three things that are very dull indeed, I shall have no trouble with that!” she said, trying to jest. It was then that Louis replied without thinking.

“Ah! ma’am, but there may be a difficulty. You will be limited as to number—only three at once,” Louis said, cutting to the quick.He smiled as he said it but faltered when he saw the look on her face.

“Oh, dear me. I—did not think…” Miss Bates said. “I quite see what he means. Only three dull things when I have so many to say. It must be so taxing for everyone, especially Miss Tomlinson. Oh…dear,” she said, stumbling over her words.

The company then turned dour and silent, and Louis’ words felt as if he had spoken them into an echo chamber. The atmosphere began uncomfortable, and Louis had to turn away, fidgeting with his skirts.

“Would you perhaps like to take a walk with me, ma’am?” Henry asked abruptly from his seat beside her. He would not look at Louis, which cut him to the core.

“Oh, yes I think…that would be nice, thank you,” she said, allowing him to pull her to her feet. Zayn gave Louis a troubled look and followed behind. Brendan left as well following closely behind Henry.

“Well, I do not have anything to say to people that play such sillygames,” Mrs. Winston said, rising to her feet as well.

“Come along, Mr. W, let us walk in the gardens,” she said, commandingly. 

Soon it was just Bella, Taylor, Richard, and Louis.

Louis had a sick, sour feeling in his stomach. Richard no longer looked lively but moody. He was staring off after Zayn and the rest of the company that had left.

“They are lucky they are so compatible,” Richard remarked, gesturing towards where the Winstons had left.

Louis refrained from comment and was annoyed that Richard was speaking.

“Of course, I am sure you will never find yourself in that situation,” Richard said smoothly.

Louis grew tired of the flattery and the attention he was showing him. He did not for one moment think that Richard was being serious.

“I think I shall try to find Brendan,” Louis said, getting up from the blanket which they were both sitting on.

“I will bid you good day,” he said, lightly curtseying.

He left Bella and Taylor with Richard, knowing they would try to coax him out of whatever strange mood he was in. Louis was tired of trying to make things perfect.

He had just wanted a nice outing with his friends. He had hoped that Brendan would have been able to talk with Richard, but he had been shadowing Henry the whole afternoon, which was odd when he thought of it. He avoided the gardens because that was were the Winston’s had gone and he did not want to speak with them.

Louis had looked for Brendan yet failed to find him. He was quite annoyed with himself and everyone presently. He just wanted to go home. He called for a carriage with no success at finding his friend.  
He sighed and stood waiting when he spotted Henry coming towards him.

He gave him a smile, but Henry was looking put out. He came closer to Louis, stopping so that he was about a foot away.

“Louis, I must speak to you once more as I used to do. I cannot see you acting in the wrong without speaking of it. How can you be so unfeeling towards Miss Bates? How can you be so unfeeling in your wit to a woman of her character, age, and situation. I had not thought it possible,” Henry said, his voice low with anger. 

Louis blushed, remembering what he had said on the hilltop. He tried to collect himself, tried to laugh it off.  
“How could I help saying what I did? It was not so very bad. I doubt that she even caught my meaning!” Louis said, defensively.

Henry looked at him as he had never looked before, with an intensity and disbelief.

“I can assure you that she did catch your meaning. She has talked of nothing since. I wish you could have heard how she talked of it. I wish you could have heard her honoring your tolerance when her society is so irksome to you,” Henry said.“But I—I know there is not a better creature in the world than Miss Bates, but you must allow that what is good and what is ridiculous are blended in her,” Louis stuttered out. He was trying hard not to cry in front of Henry, although he felt misery upon himself that he had never felt before.

“They are blended, yes, and if she were prosperous, I could allow for the occasional teasing, but she is not a woman of fortune, Louis. She is poor. She is not your equal. She has sunk from the comforts that she was born to, and if she live to an old age, may possibly sink more. Her situation should make you compassionate towards her. It was badly done, indeed. That you of all people, who she has seen grown from infant until now, laugh at her, humble her in front of others that take their cues from you! This is not pleasant to you, and it is far from pleasant to me but I must, I will—I will tell you truths while I can to prove that I am giving you good counsel as a friend and trusting that you will do me greater justice than you do now,” Henry said. It was said so directly, so swiftly that Louis was left speechless.

All the breath inside of Louis felt stolen. Before he could even speak again, the carriage was ready and Henry handed him in. He was sunk in deep mortification and self loathing. He reproached himself for not taking his leave, for leaving Henry to think that he was sullen or angry. He turned to say something but it was too late. Henry had already turned away. He hoped that he would turn around, but he did not.

The truth of his words hit him deeper than he had expected. He had acted so beyond his usual good humor into the territory of cruelty. Never had he get so vexed at any circumstance in his life. He felt it in his heart. How could he have been so cruel to Miss Bates.

He was not composed by time, he sat in the carriage in utter hopelessness at what his foolish tongue had wrought. The more he thought of it, the more it depressed and agitated him. Tears ran unchecked down his cheeks as the journey proceeded. He made it home only to run to his room and collapse on his bed, overcome by dismal thoughts.

~~~~~~

The following day, Louis went to the Bates’ residence with a basket of bread and fruit. He was feeling awful about the day before, which had turned out to be an utter disaster. He could not mince words, at least to himself.

Miss Bates was oddly quiet, which made Louis feel like it was even a mistake to come and see her. Zayn did not come out of his room, although Louis guessed he was not ill at all after Miss Bates made some excuse about him feeling poorly.

What must they think of him! He felt truly monstrous and an utter fool. He did not stay long at the Bates, although he learned that Zayn had accepted the position that Mrs. Winston had found for him as a governess.  
Louis expressed his displeasure and his sadness that Zayn would have to leave. He truly did want to get to know him better, and now he would lose his chance.  
  
From there, he walked to Taylor’s residence, hoping to speak with Richard, only to find that he had left.

“He left? So suddenly?” Louis asked as he walked in the small walled garden with Taylor’s arm through his.

“Yes, his aunt has been in ill health for a long time and she has just passed away,” Taylor said, her face sympathetic.

“What awful news,” Louis said, his heart aching for his new friend.

He took his leave from Taylor and meandered back to Hartfield on foot. He was feeling heart sore and guilty, as if he could not get the memory of yesterday and how he had behaved out of his mind. He wished there was more he could do. He had never felt so unsettled in his life. To be taken to task by his oldest friend and one that he had begin to feel…no, he would not think of that. He could not bear to think how it changed Henry’s good opinion of him.

He returned to the house, still deep in thought, to discover that Henry was waiting for him.

Louis still felt deeply ashamed by his behavior and barely glanced at Henry lest he see the same disappointment in his eyes.

“This is a nice surprise,” he said with a wan smile. In truth, he would have liked to be alone, but he put on a brave face. They sat by the fire with his father who was sipping tea and eating crumpets.  
“I wanted to see you before I left,” Henry said, his voice a deep rumble from Louis’ left. He was surprised enough to risk eye contact.

“You are leaving? Whatever for?” he asked. It was rarely that Henry ever left the county.  
“I am going to visit my brother and his wife, but I wanted to say goodbye before I left. I am not sure when I will return,” he said. Louis mulled this information over for a moment. It seemed so out of the blue.

“Louis, my dear, how did your visit with the Bates’ go? You do know how wonderful Louis is to them, do you not Mr. Knightley?” his father said, leaving Louis deeply mortified once again.  
  
“I only did what I should have, papa, and what they deserve,” Louis said, his voice tremulous in its uncertainty. He looked at Henry to find him gazing at him with a warm expression. Louis hoped that this meant that he had forgiven Louis, or at least did not see him as entirely repugnant.

“Will you see me to the carriage?” Henry asked abruptly. Louis nodded his assent and walked with him towards the entry way.

They stood at front, waiting for Henry’s carriage to be brought around.

Louis felt Henry’s eyes on him then, and he turned towards him. He felt his hand suddenly being taken up and his breath caught. Never had he felt more delicate than with Henry’s hand on his own.

Henry’s lips were almost touching his bare skin, barely a breath away.

The carriage jolted to a stop, and Henry dropped his hand, slowly as if he had not wanted to. Louis bade him goodbye and stepped back as the carriage lumbered forward.

Why hadn’t he kissed Louis’ hand, and why was the impulse there? He had never said goodbye in this way. Louis’ hand still trembled from the feeling of Henry’s large hand meeting with his own. And why did Louis so desperately wish he had kissed his hand?

~~~~~~~

In the morning, he received a letter from Bella requesting that he join them for tea as soon as possible. Perplexed, for he had just seen them yesterday, he did as she asked.

As soon as he entered Taylor and Bella’s home, he was immediately seated in the drawing room.

“My dears, whatever is the matter that you ask me to come post haste?” Louis asked as they sat waiting for him. They both looked uneasy, and Louis was concerned.

“We have some news that might astonish you,” Bella started saying. She clasped Taylor’s hand in her own. Louis was left in suspense as they traded uneasy glances.

“Whatever is it that has you so discomposed?” Louis asked.  
  
“Richard and Zayn are engaged,” Taylor said, softly. Louis wondered if he had perhaps heard correctly.

“Richard and Zayn? Are you certain?” Louis asked, surprised.

“Yes, they have been secretly engaged for six months! Richard did not so much as speak of Zayn when he was here, so we are all astonished at this development. It has shocked me, I can assure you,” Bella said, her expression equal parts surprise and candor.

“Well, I can see that, he is your cousin and he gave no sign of attachment to Zayn…” Louis said, pondering this new information. It would mean that Richard had probably been the one to gift Zayn the pianoforte. And now that Brendan had attached himself to Richard! Louis did not want to have to break bad news to him again and in so short a time after the disaster with Mr. Winston.

“You are not too upset by it, are you,” Taylor asked, coming over to sit by him.

“Upset? No. I am just as shocked as you are, but I am not hurt if that is what you mean. I was not in love with Richard,” Louis said, wincing at how he had acted with Richard, although he had not been the one to instigate the flirting. The way that Richard had talked of Zayn, making light of him. He was more offended on Zayn’s behalf.

“I had always hoped that perhaps you two would have made a connection,” Bella confessed. “I did not know why he was so unforthcoming about his relationships. Apparently, they had to keep it a secret from his aunt who would surely disinherit him if she knew about their engagement,” she said.  
  
What if his aunt had not died? Would Richard have been comfortable seeing his love wasted away as a governess? Inwardly, Louis could not understand why Richard had acted in such a way. He had flirted deliberately in front of Zayn with Louis. Louis was appalled by his own behavior. He should have never have humored him or let his own vanity be appeased. Now he would have to tell Brendan that another man he fancied was engaged.  
“Do not judge him so harshly, Louis. He has promised me to write a letter explaining everything. I do not think he acted as he did for without a reason,” Bella said, defending Richard.

“I shall look forward to hearing it,” Louis replied. He would indeed like to hear what Richard had to say for himself.

After this astonishing news and with promises that his heart was not broke, he went back to Hartfield.

When he arrived, he found Brendan was already waiting for him.

“I have just arrived,” Brendan said, a happy smile on his face. Louis was apprehensive to tell him the news, but he knew he should tell him sooner rather than later.

“Brendan, I am afraid that I have some distressing news,” Louis began as his friend sat down on the settee.

Brendan widened his eyes. “It’s not Mr. Knightley is it? Has anything happened to him?” he asked, concerned.

Louis threw him a confused glance. Why on earth was he thinking of Henry.

“No, it has nothing to do with Mr. Knightley. It is Mr. Churchill, I speak of.  
Mr. Richard Churchill. He is to be married to Zayn Fairfax,” Louis said.

He waited for tears to gather in Brendan’s eyes, but none appeared.

“Oh, is that your distressing news? I have already heard it on my way here from Mrs. Swift. I think it’s quite wonderful actually,” Brendan said with a smile on his face.

“You do?” Louis asked. Had he mistaken what he had seen with Brendan and Richard?

“Yes, why should I not be happy for them?” Brendan asked, his face now marked by curiosity.

“Well, you had talked of Mr. Churchill with such praise. You spoke of him quite dotingly. I had thought that you fancied him?”

“Oh no, I do not think of Mr. Churchill in any way like that!”Brendan said, laughing. “Actually I quite fancy myself in love with someone better and even more handsome! Mr. Knightley!”

Louis mind was in a whirl. Brendan could not possibly have said that.

“Brendan…do you mean to say that you are in love with Mr. Knightley?” he asked, tentatively

“Yes, ever since that moment where he rescued me from dancing alone at the ball, I have felt most warmly towards him,” Brendan said, unaware of the turmoil Louis was going through.  
  
“But love?” Louis said, unable to keep the shock out of his voice.

“Is it that shocking to you? He is indeed a paragon among men,” Brendan said, admiration in his voice.

“Does Henry return these feelings?” Louis asked, trying not to be betrayed by his feelings which were swirling around in his chest.

“Oh yes, I do believe he does!” Brendan gushed happily, unaware that Louis was in misery. If Henry had given Brendan reason to hope then he was in love with him and no one else.

He wanted to fall down to the floor and weep, he wanted to rush out of the room, but instead he smiled mechanically.

“Then I am very happy for you both,” he said, quietly.

“Are you alright, Louis? You look unwell. Perhaps it is the shock of what I told you,” Brendan said, looking over at Louis with concern.  
  
“I do think that I should go and get some air,” Louis said.  
Brendan moved to join him, but Louis put out a hand to stop him.

“I think that I will just walk in the garden alone, I fear that I have overtaxed myself today. I will talk to you tomorrow,” he said quickly.

He left before Brendan could argue or say anything at all. His mind was in a jumble of confusion and doubt. His sudden realization hit him bone deep. Was he…in love with Henry? It seemed preposterous to him, and yet that was core of what he had been feeling. It was the only word for that certain emotion.

Ever since he had realized that his feelings for Henry were more than friendship, he had wondered if Henry could feel the same towards him. In fact, he thought that Henry did indeed feel SOMETHING for him, in the way that they had danced the night of the ball. It had felt electric to Louis, every touch of his bare hand against Henry’s, the way his eyes had never left his face. He could have sworn there was something there. But he also knew that Henry would never give Brendan cause for him to think he was enamored with him if he had no such feelings.

Oh, but this was a twist of fate he did not foresee! How had he become so blind to everything around him. Had he missed the signs that Henry favored Brendan above all others? He did not think so, but he could not be sure.

He was grateful that Henry was out of town and could not see him in such a state. He would not know what to say to him. He could not be happy or easy about such a union. He loved Brendan as a brother, but to see him married to Henry, oh surely that was too much to be borne! When it should be him and no other. Even though Louis had just realized how deeply his feelings ran for Henry. How cruel to realize and now be denied what he so desperately wanted.  
  
Louis, for his whole life, had always felt a little left out, a little old before his time. His sister had married young and moved away, leaving Louis to care for their father. He loved his father, but there were so few people his age that lived close by. Thinking back on all those years, Henry was always there for him. When he was sad, when he was peevish, vexed, or unable to smile, Henry was there with a kind word or a stern one depending upon the situation, but he was never cruel and always solicitous. He had teased Louis and defended him from gossip. He had spent hours in conversation with him, by the fire, his father asleep. Louis realized just how much Henry was in his life, the most important person, and he had realized it too late.

Louis passed that night with such sadness, it felt as if he had not slept at all. His peace was ruined, and he only had himself to blame. He did not go to see any of his friends but stayed inside most of the morning until he could not bear to be in the house any longer.

He walked in the garden, lost in his own thoughts. He was awash in misery. To think that all along Henry had feelings for Brendan!

If he had given him an understanding, then of course he would follow through with it, no matter how Louis felt. He should be happy for his oldest friend, but he was not. He could not bear to be happy thinking about Brendan marrying Henry, of them having children together, of Brendan living in Henry’s home. He twisted some of the flowers together, unable to keep his hands from moving.

  
He saw Henry walk into the garden, obviously searching for him, but when he approached, was silent. It felt like a dream for him to appear so suddenly, and his heart leapt in his chest.

Louis waited for him to speak, but he did not. They walked the path towards the end of the garden, and Louis thought Henry was glancing at him, trying to see his full expression.  
Louis did not want him to see that he had a restless night, plagued by tears. He could bear the silence no longer.

“You have some news to hear that I think may surprise you,” Louis said.

“Have I? Of what nature?” Henry asked quietly

“It’s the best news in the world, an engagement,” Louis said, trying to appear happy, as if nothing was wrong.  
  
“You mean Richard and Zayn? I have heard that” Henry replied tersely. Louis looked up at him for the first time since they had begun walking.

“How is that possible? I have just heard it yesterday,” Louis said, wondering who could have told him.

“Taylor wrote to me, and I received the letter as soon as I came home and left for here as soon as I read it,” Henry said.

  
“To be sure, you must be less surprised to hear of it than anyone. You had your suspicions about Richard. Whereas I…did not listen to your caution. It seemed I am doomed to blindness,” Louis said, sighing.  
  
Louis was surprised when Henry drew his arm towards him, near his heart.

“Time, my dearest Louis, will heal the wound,” he spoke warmly and firmly. Louis was flummoxed to see how intensely he was looking at his face. In any other circumstance he might have blushed at their nearness, but for now he was astonished.

“Your own excellent sense, your exertion on your father’s behalf, I hope you will not allow yourself—“ here he broke off, and the hand that was pressed against his heart was held softly in his grip.

“That man is a scoundrel, simply enough said. They will soon be gone, they will not settle here. I am sorry for Zayn, he deserves better,” Henry said.

Louis felt a warm glow of pleasure that Henry would so ardently believe that his feelings had been hurt, to comfort him. That he would be so tender in his consideration.

“Mr. Knightley, you are very kind, but I fear you are mistaken. My blindness to what was going on regarding their situation led me to behave in a way that I will always be ashamed of. My feelings are not hurt in any other way, I can assure you,” Louis said.

“They are not indeed? Forgive me, but I could never be sure of your affections when it came to Richard Churchill, to the degree of what you felt for him. It is fortunate that your regard for him was no more. He is a disgrace, to have treated Zayn such and to have led you to a certain preference,” Henry said, his voice bitter.

“Mr. Knightley” Louis said, trying to be lively but rapidly growing more confused as their conversation went on, “I do not know if I ever let you to believe that I cared for Mr. Churchill, but I have never been attached to him at all. I never have,” Louis said firmly.

He waited for Henry to respond, but he did not. Louis sighed inwardly, noting that his next words might lower Henry’s good opinion of him.

“I admit I was flattered by his attention, and the connection with Taylor was something I considered. He flattered me and imposed upon me, but he has not injured me,” he said, wondering why the other man was looking so tense.

Henry had turned to the side, listening intently to what Louis was saying. He hoped that Henry would finally say something, but the silence lasted for a few more moments.

“I have no motive for wishing Richard ill, I confess I have a higher opinion of Zayn. I will wish him well,” he said finally

“I believe Zayn and Richard to have a sincere attachment, and I do hope they will be happy,” Louis said. He resumed walking and found that he really did wish for them to be happy.

Henry let out a bitter laugh that Louis was surprised to hear from someone so well tempered.

“Such a happy man must Richard be. His aunt stands in the way of his marriage, his aunt dies. He inherits a fortune and can now marry whom he wishes. He can consort and flirt with others, and yet all wish him happiness. Everything turns out for his good,” Henry said. Louis had never seen him so vexed over someone as Richard Churchill.  
“You speak as though you envy him,” Louis said cautiously.

Henry turned to him suddenly. Louis was left to look up into the eyes of the man he knew so well.

“Yes, in one respect, I envy him very much,” Henry said, his eyes fixed on Louis’.  
Louis could say no more. This was where he would break his heart for the subject could only be Brendan. He remained silent even though Henry’s gaze burned through him.

“You will not ask me the point of envy? You are determined to have no curiosity on the subject. You are wise, but I cannot be wise. Louis, I will tell you what you do not ask, though I may wish it unsaid come the morning,” Henry said, urgently.

“Then do not say it, I beg you,” Louis cried, facing away from him. He was afraid that he would start weeping. He could not bear to hear that Henry had proposed to Brendan.“Take a little time, consider what you have to say, do not commit yourself,” he said, watching Henry from his periphery.

“Thank you,” Henry said in a tone of deep mortification, and not another word followed.

Louis could not bear to hear him talk in such a tone, for him to feel pained. Perhaps Henry wished to confide in him, to ask his advice. They had been walking with no aim and looped back around to the house.  
  
“Are you going inside?” Henry asked, and Louis was alarmed to hear the same repressed tone in his voice.

“No, I think I shall take another turn around the garden. I think the doctor is still with father,” Louis said and beckoned Henry to keep walking.

After a few moments, he said, “I stopped you ungraciously then. If you wish to speak openly as a friend, I will hear whatever you like. I will give my opinion, I will tell you exactly what I think if you ask me,” Louis said, with great pain.

“As a friend!” Henry exclaimed. “Louis, I fear that is a word—“ He stopped turning in a circle. Louis had never seen him so out of countenance.

“Why should I hesitate? I have gone too far for concealment. I accept your offer as a friend. Tell me, have I no chance of ever succeeding?” Henry asked, his gaze direct.

He had stopped walking and stepped closer to him, the expression in his eyes overpowering Louis. His gaze was earnest and imploring.  
“My dearest Louis, for dearest you will always be, my dearest, most beloved, say no if it is to be said, but do not keep me in this agony,” Henry said, drawing closer than he ever had to Louis still form.

Louis was struck dumb by the subject of the conversation, almost feeling as if he were in a dream.

“I cannot make speeches, Louis. If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. I have blamed you and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other in England would. God knows I have been an indifferent lover, but you understand me, I can see that you can. You understand my feelings and will return them if you can. At present, I ask only to hear your voice,” he said, earnestly.

Louis was struck by the tenderness in his words, the sincerity that rang with every syllable.

“I return your sentiments if that is what you are asking me, that I feel exactly as you feel,” Louis said, his heartbeat racing. Brendan had been mistaken, it was not him that had occupied Henry’s thoughts, but Louis. He stepped closer to Henry, looking up into his eyes. The tenderness, the fondness that he had never noticed was there. Henry took Louis’ hand in his and kissed his wrist.

  
“I had thought your feelings might have been engaged by Richard Churchill. I came to see if you had been hurt, to offer my counsel should you need it,” he said, not letting one breath between them. 

Louis could not help the smile that had overtaken his face, the feeling of Henry’s hand in his own. He let Henry continue. 

“The afternoon at Box Hill and how Richard showed his attention towards you…I thought that you had returned his feelings. I had to get away from here lest I hear of an engagement. I tried to be indifferent, but I cannot be. Everything I saw in London reminded me of you. You, the sweetest and best of creatures, I had to come back to,” Henry said.

Louis stood on his tip toes then and kissed him. Henry was not expecting the kiss but deepened it.

“I think I have been half in love with you all my life,” Louis said as they broke apart. His face felt like it would break in half for his smile had yet to wane.  
“I had not hoped that you would feel as I do, constantly did I argue with myself that you felt for someone else and I could not hope to compete, but you have made me the happiest of men,”

Louis’ smiled tearily and Henry brushed them back with his thumb.

“You have made me the happiest I have ever been. Never have I felt more treasured or valued than I am with you,” Louis said and giggled when Henry lifted him off of his feet. He set him back down, Louis’ toes still on Henry’s boots, and kissed every part of his face, his eyelids.

“Louis, I do think I know the answer to this question, but will you marry me?” Henry asked, his eyes shining, his hands around Louis’ waist.

“Yes, of course I will marry you,” Louis said, his eyes shining with tears.  
Henry looked rather teary himself as he gathered Louis in his arms.

They walked back into the house, hand in hand. Louis had never known a complete happiness such as this, and now to sit and have tea as if nothing had happened! His father was still by the fireplace, they sat at the same table that they always did. They couldn’t stop looking at each other, and even though they were not properly engaged, Henry stroked the back of his hand with his fingertips.

As long as he had been there, Louis’ fever of happiness continued, but when he took his leave, not without a kiss or two, Louis was left to his thoughts.

After the initial glow of happiness, Louis suddenly remembered Brendan and how he had said that he was in love with Henry. Deeply, did Louis feel this pain in his heart that yet again his friend would be hurt by such news. He also thought of his father, so paranoid, so frail as to the world, he could never quit Hartfield. His heart sunk with that thought. He could not get married and leave his father. When his sister had married and moved, his father had been constantly upset and bemoaning her fate. He did not know how long his father may live, but he needed to be there for him.

~~~~

In the morning, he made his way to see Brendan. As he had thought, the news was delivered to a tearful and heartbroken Brendan. Louis could not help but cry with him, cradling Brendan in his arms. He knew that Brendan had no ill will against him, but he was still saddened when he was asked to leave. He told Louis that he had accepted an invitation to stay at the Martin’s farm. Louis, of course, said that was lovely and that he wished him a pleasant stay. He would no longer judge anyone and try to matchmake ever again. It was a solemn vow that he kept for himself and for everyone in his acquaintance. He would not be so blinded again as to hurt anyone he loved. With this in his heart, he went home, still saddened but glad that Brendan would be going somewhere where he was comfortable.

~~~~  
The days passed as they do, and Louis received a letter from Bella a few weeks after the news of Richard and Zayn’s engagement.

He scanned the first few lines and realized this was Richard’s letter explaining his actions.

Louis could not help but forgive him, despite the awful tangles he had gotten them in. He explained how he had thought Zayn wanted to break off the engagement because they were both poor. His aunt had doomed him to a life of begging and scraping. He thought that Louis had known about their understanding because he was so perceptive. On and on the letter went and Louis’ feelings were quite softened by it.

Henry arrived later on in the afternoon, kissing Louis’ forehead as he came in.

“What is that you are reading?” he asked as he sat next to Louis, his arm behind Louis’ head.

Louis gave him the letter to read. He had quite the stern expression on his face as he read.

“Well, I cannot say he is not an unscrupulous fellow, but I can admit he has a few good qualities. I still do not think Zayn is deserving of such treatment, but I do wish them happy,” he said reluctantly. Louis wished them the same.

“Have you talked to Brendan since he has come back from the Martins Farm?” Henry asked.

“No…I have not seen him,” Louis said, his spirit sinking.  
“I have some news that might shock you,” Henry said, settling into his space beside Louis.

“Not much can shock me anymore,” Louis said, smiling up at him.

Henry stroked Louis’ cheekbone with his hand. Louis caught it with his own.

“Do not keep me in suspense, has something happened?” he asked.  
“Mr. Martin has proposed to Brendan and he has accepted,” Henry said.

Louis’ heart and spirits immediately lifted.

“Why, that is wonderful news! I am so glad to hear it. I only wished Brendan had told me himself,” he said, his expression downcast.  
“Do not trouble yourself, Brendan is not one to hold ill feelings or grudges,” Henry said, kissing the palm of Louis’ hand.  
  
“I know this, but it still pains me that he felt he could not tell me himself…” Louis said, although he did not blame Brendan for being apprehensive.  
“Perhaps you could visit and offer your congratulations,” Henry mused.

“Henry, there is something I have to ask you…” he said, trailing off. It was the only thing that had marred his perfect happiness. The matter of his father. He could not leave him alone. Even if he wanted to, there would be no one to take care of him, not in the way he needed.

He placed himself a little further apart from Henry, though it pained him to do so.

“I cannot leave my father here alone, so if that impedes you in any way then I do not think I can marry you,” he said, eyes downcast.

When he finally looked up, he found Henry looking at him with questioning eyes.

“My darling Louis, I had never intended for you to move from your place here. I will simply live here with you,” he said, smiling.

“You would give up your house at Donwell Abbey to live here with us? Give up your total independence,” Louis asked, his eyebrows raised to the heavens.

“I would do anything for you,” Henry answered simply.

Henry moved so that the was on one knee before Louis, so that Louis was no longer gazing down towards the floor.

“Whenever your heart is heavy, whatever anxiety you may have, tell me. I am your confidante and protector. Please, do not shut me out. I want to be wed to you,” Henry said.  
Louis smiled softly at this earnestness.

“I promise I will tell you all my woes, no matter how small, and I hope that you will do the same with me,” Louis confided.

Henry stood up, pulling Louis to his feet. He kissed him on the nose while Louis giggled softly.

“Let us go tell your father the news then, shall we?”

Louis’ father took the engagement news very well, far better than Louis had expected. At first, he was a trifle confused not knowing the depth of feelings between the two. When Louis informed Bella and Taylor, they were ecstatic.

“I knew that it would happen!” Bella said, clapping her hands in delight.

“I always figured that you would find a good match, Louis. You deserve all the happiness in the world,” Taylor said, giving him a firm hug.

He also informed the Bates, and Zayn was in attendance, still glowing from his recent engagement.

“I am very happy for you, Louis,” Zayn said quietly when Louis was able to talk with him alone.

“I am so sorry for making such a mess of things with Richard,” Louis said, taking Zayn’s hand. “I had no bad intentions where he is concerned.”

“I know this now, and I hope that we shall become true friends,” Zayn said with a smile.

The last person that Louis told was the one he was most afraid to share the news with. Brendan.

He was still staying at the school until he was married.

Louis walked into his room to see Brendan writing letters at his desk.

“Oh, dearest Louis, I am so glad to see you!” Brendan said with genuine happiness, rising to greet him.

“I am so glad to see you as well,” Louis said, giving his friend a hug.

“So much has happened since we last spoke!” Brendan said.

“Yes, it really has,” Louis said as they went over to sit by the window. He was glad to see Brendan looking so well. There was a flush of happiness on his face that eased Louis’ apprehension.

He took a deep breath.

“Brendan, first, I have to say how deeply sorry I am. I have given you horrible advice from the moment that I met you, and I am deeply sorry for having tried to match you with people that you did not even like. I hope you know that my intentions were pure. I only have ever wanted the best for you,” he said, in a rush.

“My dearest Louis, of course I would never accuse you of wanting the worst! I have valued your good opinions and advice. I have treasured your compliments, and I do hope that we can remain friends now that I am to be wed to Mr. Martin.”

“Of course we shall remain friends!” Louis said, gripping Brendan’s hands with his own.

“I am truly lucky to call you my friend,” he finished.

They embraced, and Louis left the lodging house feeling lighter than ever.

~~~~~~

Henry and Louis’ wedding was a happy affair. They had invited everyone they knew to celebrate the occasion. Louis did not mind, so joyful and ready to spread the same happiness that he felt. His father had wept walking him down the aisle to give his hand to Mr. Knightley.  
Henry slipped his hand into Louis’, holding it tight as they said their vows. The after ceremony had been held at Hartfield, a joyous affair that even the Winston’s could not turn their noses at, at least not publicly.

Zayn and Richard’s wedding would be next and Louis was greatly anticipating it, although nothing could be better than his own wedding. They were to move into town near Bella and Taylor and all parties were satisfied with the development.

The festivities went on until past eleven when the last of the guests departed. His father had already went to bed but not without kissing Louis’ on the cheek and shaking Henry’s hand.  
  
As Henry and Louis were finally alone, the servants having also retired, Louis held his husband’s hand shyly. Henry seemed amused by his shyness as they retired to bed.

They had moved into a separate part of the house, previously unoccupied.

Louis still felt a tad guilty that Henry had moved into Hartfield, leaving his own home at the Abbey.

“Are you sure you do not mind living here with my father and I? I feel as if I am stealing your independence from you,” Louis said, nervously.

They were in the bedchamber, it was long past eleven when they arrived after the celebrations. Henry was taking off his boots in the large ornate chair near the fireplace.

“Darling, you are not having seconds thoughts are you? You just married me,” Henry said, his gaze warm and amused.

“Of course not,” Louis said, fighting his nervousness.

In truth, he was nervous about being bedded. In his youth, Taylor had told him everything he needed to know, but he had never had any romantic dalliances.

Henry had moved on from his boots and had taken his shirt off.

Louis blushed.

“You don’t have to be nervous, love,” Henry said, noticing that Louis was still fully dressed.

“I need your help to untie my laces,” Louis asked shyly.

It was something he needed his maid to do for him, but now he had Henry.

Henry, who was gazing at him with such warm affection, such loving eyes.

“It would be my pleasure,” Henry said in a husky whisper

Louis shivered at the deepened tone of his voice.

He felt the warmth of Henry’s larger body come behind him.

“I am the luckiest man to have wed you,” Henry said, the stays of his laces becoming loosened so that his back was bare. He slid the corset from his body and it fell to the floor.

Henry kissed the side of his neck, turning him gently around so that they were facing each other.

“I love you,” he said, and Louis smiled.

“I love you too,” he answered.

He squeaked as Henry picked him up bridal style, lifting him as if he were as light as a feather.

“Are you ready for bed, my love?” he asked.

“I am, good sir,” Louis replied and giggled when Henry began walking them towards the canopied bed.

The sheets were soft on his bare back, and he grabbed Henry’s large muscled back, arching his face up for a kiss.

Louis shimmied out of his stockings and watched heavily lidded as Henry divested himself of the rest of his clothes.

“Can I take these off?” he asked, seeing Louis’ lace underclothes.

“Yes, please. Touch me,” he said.

Henry’s warm hands slid his lacy garments off, and then they were both bare to each other.

Louis gaped at Henry’s size.

He was bigger than he had ever expected.

“I have no experience in these arts,” Louis mumbled out. He was suddenly afraid that Henry would find him wanting.

“Darling, I love you. I will love bedding you. Feel what you do to me,” Henry said, guiding Louis’ small hand towards his cock.

Louis gasped as his hand could not even fit around it. His eyes flew to Henry’s face where he was smirking.

“I can assure you,” he said as he palmed Louis’ ass, “you could not disappoint me.”

Henry coated two of his fingers in lubricant, gently stretching Louis’ out. It felt different that what he had expected, a bit strange. Henry fingered him until Louis’ was panting beneath him, half wishing that Henry would hurry. He pressed his ankles around Henry’s lower half, urging him to get inside.

Henry laughed and kissed Louis’ nose.

“I want to make sure you are well, angel,” he said. “It is a lot to take.”

“But I want to feel it all,” Louis said, coyly. He knew that Henry needed no persuasion but wanted to hasten him on his way.

Finally, Henry was done prepping him. He slid into Louis slowly, inch by inch. Louis urged him on, grabbing his lower back and part of his meaty thigh.

“I never imagined it would feel like this,” Louis said, breathlessly.

Henry kissed Louis sweetly again as he pushed further inside.

“Angel,” he groaned out. His larger body was fully on top of Louis’, pressing him down, sweat slicking them together.

The feeling of Henry inside of him no longer felt uncomfortable but felt like the truest pleasure he had ever known.

“Please, Henry, go faster,” he pleaded. He was having trouble keeping a coherent thought in his head. All he could think about was how good Henry felt inside of him. His hand wandered to his stomach, pressing down as if he could feel the imprint of Henry inside him.

“You feel so wonderful, sweetheart. So good for me,” Henry said.  
Henry sped up his thrusts, Louis crying out in ecstasy.

He came while Henry was kissing his neck, his mouth leaving red marks along his skin. No one would doubt his ardent passion when they saw him. The thought had Louis floating in a sea of pleasure.

Henry was muttering words into his skin, and Louis felt a pleasant after effect of Henry still being in him, chasing his own pleasure.

“Please, Henry, make me yours,” Louis said, grasping weakly onto Henry’s biceps, anchored next to his head.

“You wear my ring, you have my name, angel. We are both each other’s,” Henry said, coming inside of him, filling him to the brim.

Louis exhaled, feeling Henry come down from his high, softening inside him.

He let out a whimper when Henry pulled out, already missing the feeling.

Henry fetched a cloth to clean Louis and then himself.

They settled into bed, Henry’s warm body surrounding him. The firelight was dimming, embers smoldering into ash. Louis brought Henry’s hand up to play with his ring.

“Are you not tired, angel?” Henry asked.

Louis looked at him through the dim light, this man that was now his husband.

“It is just that I am so truly happy, Henry,” Louis said as Henry kissed his brow.

“As am I,” he said, bringing his strong arms to wrap around Louis’ torso.

As Louis fell asleep that night, he felt as if the truest match had been his own.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to my beta, Anna, for all that she does! Thanks to mads & alex for always being supportive about my fics.


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